#I don’t even remember how we got here but here we go

[cinnxmxngxrl]

“Too old” pt 2

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

part 1 here Masterlist here

Summary: It’s been days since Joel and you slept together for the first time, and now he’s pretending it never happened.

WC: 4.1k

Warnings: smut, minors DNI, dirty talk, age gap, unprotected piv, grinding, oral (f!receiving) (m!receiving) reader teases joel about his age a lot.

A/N: you don’t really need to read previous part if you only here for the smut.

It had been four days since you shared that night with Joel. Since he’d split you open on your couch. Completely animalistic, as if he couldn’t hold back any longer.

And now, he was acting as if nothing ever happened—fully ignoring you every time you walked past him. His gaze would drop to the floor, and he wouldn’t say a word when you greeted him. Acting colder than ever.

You were confused in a way you hadn’t been before. You were sure he’d enjoyed what you both did that night, he’d told you so, and you had seen it in his eyes, felt it in his body. So why was he acting this way now? You had thought things would be different, that they’d change after he opened up to you like that. You thought that night would shift everything for good, but instead, it felt like it was all slipping away.

Maybe that’s all you were to him—a quick release on a night he couldn’t hold it in any longer. He got what he wanted, and now, he was gone. Maybe he even regretted it.

That evening, you walked past his house. He was sitting on the porch steps, working on a saddle. His hands were steady, but his posture was unusually restless. You could feel his tension in the air, a heaviness that didn’t belong. He couldn’t shake the memory of that night with you—the warmth of your body beneath his, the sound of your moans in his ear. He didn’t know what to do with himself, felt so goddamn conflicted, cause how could such a pretty young thing like you be the best he’d ever had? Being with you felt so right, so damn good, but there was a voice in the back of his head telling him it was wrong. That he didn’t deserve someone like you. He was too old, too much baggage—too inappropriate for you.

You hesitated, unsure whether to keep walking or stop and say something. But you couldn’t take it anymore.

“Hey, cowboy,” you said softly.

He didn’t respond—just grunted in acknowledgment. But his eyes didn’t leave your body, roaming over you, travelling all over your body, remembering the way you’d looked with no clothes on.

“What’ya working on?” you asked, taking slow, cautious steps toward him as though you were approaching a scared animal, unsure if he might run.

He lifted the saddle he was repairing up in his hands, his touch running over the leather, careful and skilled. But he didn’t say a word.

“Did the cat eat your tongue? Such a shame… I remember you were so good with it,” you teased, a cocky smirk tugging at your lips as you tried to provoke him, curious to see how long it would take to get a reaction.

“Just workin’ on this old saddle. Damn thing’s seen better days,” he muttered, his voice rough. He was trying to resist your taunts, but you could see it in his eyes—he knew exactly what you were doing.

You stood there for a moment, both of you silent. The only sounds were his hands moving over the leather, the faint rustle of fabric, and his breath, shallow and tense.

“So, are we just gonna pretend you weren’t balls-deep inside me a few nights ago?” you asked bluntly.

He nearly dropped the saddle, his eyes widening with surprise, but his face twisted into a mix of shock and annoyance. “Jesus Christ, woman, ain’t got no damn filter on your mouth, do ya?”

“You didn’t mind it the other night, Joel,” you said, your voice dripping with confidence. You had one goal now—to make him fall again.

“That doesn’t goddamn mean you gotta go running that mouth about it like it’s some casual street chat,” he growled, a low huff escaping his lips as he cleared his throat, trying to regain his usual gruff composure.

“That’s a shame,” you said, pouting. “’Cause I kinda liked you balls-deep inside me.”

He cursed under his breath, his grip tightening on the saddle as he fought to keep himself from reacting too visibly to your words, his mind raced back to that night. Damn you and your stupid mouth—he could still feel it, that hunger between you, and it made him ache.

“We can pretend nothing happened if you want, Joel,” you said softly, in that sweet innocent voice you used sometimes, but Joel knew it was far from innocent.

He muttered something under his breath about stubborn women and loud mouths, but deep down, he didn’t want to pretend. Not at all.

“I can pretend I didn’t love the way your cock felt inside me,” you whispered, moving closer, your lips nearly grazing his ear.

“Shut your damn mouth ‘fore someone hears,” he grunted, his hands shaking as he tried to focus on the saddle, but every nerve in his body was desperate to ignore it. The tension was unbearable. He needed to avoid giving in to the urges that were consuming him.

He felt his pants getting tighter, and you noticed the bulge straining in his jeans, growing more prominent, his thick cock throbbing against his pants, like a wild animal desperate to come out.

And couldn’t help but tease. “Pretend I don’t still remember your head buried between my thighs… never seen a man so hungry, Joel. Are you always this hungry, or was it just because of me?”

“Maybe you were just too goddamn delicious…” he growled, breath labored, his voice low with restraint. The image of you was consuming him, and he didn’t know how much longer he could hold back from doing something really stupid.

“I know, but yeah, let’s just totally pretend that never happened, Joel,” you said, your fingers lightly tracing his chest, moving downward, reaching his groin, and barely tracing the outlines of his manhood through his jeans.

“You’re a wicked woman,” he muttered, a frustrated groan slipping from his lips as he grabbed your wrist, gently pushing your hand away, trying to keep his composure. “Goddamn you.”

“I thought you liked it, Joel. I mean, look how big and hard it is for me,” you teased, licking your bottom lip before biting it, a smile spreading across your face. “I’m kind of salivating right now.”

He let go of your wrist, his hand moving to your thigh. His touch was soft, yet possessive, his fingers trailing upward, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. “Goddamn, you’re a pain in the ass…”

“You love it, don’t even try to fool yourself. I’ve been thinking about this every night when I touch myself, have you?” you said, slowly tracing the outline of his bulge through his jeans, just a playful touch that was enough to make him groan.

“You got no goddamn idea, darlin’… you tasted like sweet honey. Like nothing I’ve ever had before…” He leaned in, his nose brushing against your neck, his voice a low growl against your skin.

“Come on, Miller. Take me to your bed.”

His eyes darkened, the intensity in them unmistakable. He was just a man, and there was only so much he could take.His hand intertwined with yours and without another word, he stood, pulling you along with him, his hand gripping yours. The saddle, forgotten, was left behind as he led you into the house and towards his bedroom.

The door slammed shut behind you, and before you could even think, he had you pinned against the wall. His big body held you captive, his hands moving to your waist, holding you there. He couldn’t control himself any longer, and he kissed you fiercely, his lips claiming yours as if he’d been starved for it. The kiss a desperate tangle of lips and tongue, he was taking what he’d been missing for days.

“Missed these lips, babygirl,” he muttered into your mouth.

His hands slid up your body, his fingers finding the hem of your shirt. With one swift motion, he pulled it over your head, tossing it carelessly aside. His eyes drank in the sight of you, taking in the sight of your bare tits. His large hands cupping your breasts. At first, his touch was tender, reverent, as if your tits were the most precious gift sent from heaven, but then desperation took over, and his hands were rough, possessive as he kneaded one breast with one hand, his mouth moved to lap on the other, his tongue swirling over your nipple, nibbling on it, sending jolts of pleasure through your body that had you gasping for air.

He spun you around, as if you weighed nothing, and you were facing the wall. Then, in a move that left you breathless, he dropped to his knees.

“Bend down a little for me, baby. Yeah, like that,” he said, his voice gruff, commanding.

You obeyed immediately, his hands stripping your pants off in one quick motion, leaving them tugged down your ankles. His fingers pushed aside your panties, spreading your cheeks wide open as his gaze lingered on the sight of your soaked slit, dripping now with your slick down your thighs .

“Well, look at that. You’re so damn easy to get wet, baby,” he murmured, his voice thick with desire. His face hovered over your core, taking in the glorious sight of you, as if he couldn’t get enough.

“Only for my old man,” you breathed, the ache between your legs nearly unbearable.

“Gonna take real good care of my girl,” he muttered, his tongue tracing a slow, torturous stripe up your slit. He groaned against your skin, his hands gripping your ass to keep you in place.

Not a second later, he was sucking gently, his lips and tongue working against your pussy, giving little suctions to your clit. You leaned your forehead against the wall for support, gasping for breath.

“Oh, Jesus, Joel!” you cried out, your voice trembling as the pleasure surged through you. “I swear to god you’ve… you’ve got a doctorate in eating pussy, fuck.”

He let out a low laugh, the sound vibrating against your skin as he continued to feast on you, his tongue swirling over your core. His hands dug into your thighs, holding you in place, his own breathing ragged as he devoured you.

“Just hush, darlin’… and lemme focus… Need to concentrate on this pretty, needy cunt of yours.”

His tongue moved faster, applying more pressure to your clit as he worked you over, each stroke sending you closer to the edge.

He rejoiced in the scent and the taste of you, and in the loud moans that escaped your mouth everytime he lapped harder on your pussy.

The feeling of his mouth on you, his hands holding you so firmly, pushed you to the brink.

“Fuck, Joel… I’m gonna cum,” you whimpered, feeling yourself unravel under the weight of his touch.

“Cum for me, baby,” he growled, the pressure against your clit making it impossible to hold on.

“Ngggh, Joel,” you whimpered, feeling him devour you like a starved man. “Oh, JoelJoelJoel…”

You cried out as your orgasm hit you like a freight train. Your body spasmed around his mouth, your pussy tightening around nothing, and all you could feel was the intense satisfaction flooding your body.

You turned around, watching him kneeled on the floor before you. His beard, lips, and nose were glossy, covered in your sticky fluids.

“How are those knees holding up, old man?” you teased, a sly grin on your lips.

“I don’t think you’re in any position to be smug, darlin’,” he said, smirking. “I just wrecked you.”

“Yeah, you did. And now it’s my turn,” you offered him your hand to help him up. He took it, rising to his feet with a little groan. You guided him to sit on the edge of the bed, standing between his legs. You turned, grinding your ass softly against his crotch.

“Fuuuuuck,” he grunted. “You’re gonna tease me like that?”

“This is for leaving me alone for days, Joel. Not nice, not nice at all.”

You moved your hips low enough to give him a little contact against his confined cock, but not enough to give him the friction he so desperately wanted.

“M’sorry, darlin’. I was a right dick,” he apologized, his voice almost a whimper. “Please, babygirl, I need you.”

“You’re so hard… Bet you’re leaking all over your boxers right now,” you said, grinding your ass harder against him, pushing it down, keeping him so close to the edge but not giving him what he really craved. “Are you gonna cum all in your pants, old man?”

His lip twitched, his resolve faltering. “I hate you… I… fuck—,” he groaned, almost in a cry.

You turned around, kneeling between his legs. “Mmm, don’t cry. I’ll give you what you want now.”

His face flushed, his mind hazy with need. He tried to regain control, but it was a losing battle, the image of you on your knees, waiting for him, filled his mind.

There was a huge wet stain on his jeans from all the precum leaking from his tip while you teased him. Wasting no more time, because you were cruel enough already, you undid his pants with ease. He shifted his hips, letting you pull them down.

His grey boxers were soaked, darkened with wetness. You palmed him through the fabric, feeling the sticky warmth. His breath hitched, his thighs shaking, counting the seconds before he could have his cock shoved down your throat.

When you pulled down his boxers, his rock-hard dick nearly slapped you in the face, standing proud and thick against his stomach, completely covered in his precum. His tip was flushed red, veins pulsing, almost angry like a beast needing to be tamed.

You gave him a soft kiss on the mushroom head of his cock, making him shiver, before your tongue darted out, giving a gentle lick all over the good eight inches of it. You traced the veins, savoring the salty taste of him.

He shifted uncomfortably, growing more relentless. Finally, you took him in your mouth, cheeks hollowing as you tried to take him fully—at least as much as you could. The heat of your mouth enveloped him, and the world around him faded. All he could focus on was the pleasure you were giving him.

“Oh, that’s it, babygirl,” he moaned, his voice thick. “Feels nice… keep goin’… slow now, take it easy.”

His hand moved to the back of your head, gently gripping your hair to keep it out of your face. His eyes never left your mouth, watching you take him in, how his cock disappeared inside your mouth.

You delicately cupped his balls in your hands, soaked with the drool dripping from your mouth. You gave them a little massage, kneading and gripping them, he was loving the ticklish sensation.

“Shit, you’re so good… such a good girl… so damn good for me.”

His hips jerked upward, thrusting gently into your mouth. Not too much to make you gag, but enough to encourage you to take more. You complied, taking him deeper, until his tip was pressing against the back of your throat. You let him set the rhythm, focusing on pleasing him.

“Fuck… I’m gon’ cum,” he gasped, his voice breaking into a whimper. “You gonna swallow it, baby? Gonna swallow all I give you?”

You took him out of your mouth with a filthy pop. He groaned, his cock twitching at the sudden loss of sensation.

“Not yet, Joel,” you said with a wicked grin.

“You’re evil,” he muttered, his voice hoarse. “Goddamn, you’re evil.”

You quickly climbed onto his lap, straddling him and kissing him hard. Both of your tongues fought for dominance. He grabbed your hips, fingers digging into your flesh, positioning you right above his cock.

He pushed himself into you, his body overwhelmed by the sensation of your tightness. The heat, the friction, it nearly undid him instantly, forcing a ragged moan from his throat. You sobbed at the way his length stretched you, painfully and yet deliciously. You felt as if you were being split open by him, but you wouldn’t dream of asking him to slow down.

Lost in the moment, Joel’s body trembled as he pulled almost completely out before pushing back in, each thrust deeper and harder.

“Joel… I can’t—”

“You can take it, baby. You took it so well for me the other night, just relax for me” he panted, his voice breaking as he struggled to hold it together. “Oh, you feel so good, so tight and hot around me, it’s killing me.”

You relaxed, your walls adjusting to his size, stretched enough and taking him beautifully now. His groan was almost animalistic as his body moved against yours. His voice, thick with desire, rasped in your ear.

“Ride me, darlin’… I wanna watch you ride me,” he whispered, his voice rough. “Ride this cock like you own it.”

He moaned as you began to move, your hips rolling in circles. One of his hands gripped your hips, guiding you and helping you find a steady rhythm, as he watched your tits bounce with each thrust.

“God… feels so good…” he grunted.

“Like this, Joel?” you asked, though you already knew the answer. He was loving it.

“Yes, darlin’… just like that… you look so damn good ridin’ me,” he said, nodding desperately.

He moaned as his grip on your hips tightened, need and desire taking over as he started to slowly push upwards slightly, matching your movements, thrusting into you.

“Tell me… tell me I’m the best you’ve ever had, Joel,” you teased, your confidence growing. You wanted to hear him say it.

“You’re the best I’ve ever had… shit, you’re so goddamn good… never had a pussy like this…” he growled, his teeth grazing your shoulder.

With a guttural growl, he pulled you close, his hands holding your hips almost punishingly hard, his body trembling as he lost himself to the sensation of you, riding him, using him, taking him the way you needed him.

“Oh, it feels so good, Joel… you’re amazing,” you cried, bouncing on him, your clit grinding against his base, adding another layer of pleasure.

“Yes… use me how you want, baby. Take all your pleasure from me… I’m yours,” he panted, lost in you.

His thumb found your clit, rubbing it with precision, sending waves of pleasure crashing through you.

He was fighting to hold on, to give you what you needed, but the sensations and the sight of you riding him were too much.

“Come on now, pretty girl… cum for me… cum around my cock, squeeze it tight,” he groaned.

You kept moving, long strokes that had him pushing up against your g-spot with every drag. Feeling your body start to tremble and give up on you, the tension in your stomach finally snapped, and you came with a loud moan, clenching around his cock as your body spasmed.

Joel felt every ounce of it. Your body, your touch, the way you clung to him as you reached your climax. It was almost too much to bear. He could feel himself getting closer, his body trembling as he teetered on the edge.

With one last rough movement, he pulled out, throwing you onto the bed. He shoved your hips and ass up, taking advantage of the angle, sinking into you with one powerful thrust. Your face pressed against the pillow, and your body screamed in exhaustion and overstimulation, this new position made Joel dive deeper into you, and you could feel every inch of him, crying out loud at the sensation. But you loved the feeling of him inside you.

He tried to hold on, to prolong the moment, but it was impossible, not when you felt so good, not when he needed his release so bad now.

“Fuck… I’m so close…” he grunted, his body tense. “Where do you want it?”

“Anywhere… anywhere you want, Joel,” you cried through muffled sobs.

With a guttural cry, he finally let go. Pulling his cock out of you with his hand, watching his cum shoot out of it, painting your lower back and your ass with hot, sticky white streaks. He knew that cumming inside you wasn’t a risk he could allow himself to make everytime you two did this.

He groaned lowly, his body boneless and trembling collapsing against the mattress, his mind still reeling from the intensity of his release.

“God damn, darlin’… you nearly killed me,” he said, voice hoarse.

You turned to look at him, a sly smile on your lips. “Too much for that old body to handle?”

He grinned. “If I remember correctly, you were the one cryin’ just a minute ago.”

You laughed softly, letting him pull you close, your head resting on his chest and your body molding to his, fitting against him like you belonged there. His arms wrapped around you, his hand gently tracing up and down your back absently.

“That was amazing, Joel,” you said softly. “I didn’t even know it could feel that good.”

He nodded, satisfied, a contented hum escaping him. The exhaustion was creeping up on him, but he was happy. He felt content, better than he had in ages.

“You gonna ignore me tomorrow and pretend this didn’t happen?” you asked, a hint of sadness creeping into your voice.

“I mean it when I said I was sorry. I guess I just got scared,” he whispered, his lips brushing your hair. “I’m not good at this whole being vulnerable thing, if you haven’t noticed”

You chuckled softly. “Yeah, no shit.”

“But I do like you a lot,” he admitted. “And I like this. Shit— it’s the best thing that’s happened to me in a real long time.”

You smiled, kissing his chest. “Then what is it? The age thing?”

“Partly, yeah. The fact that I’m older than you. You deserve someone better, someone younger, better looking, not some old sack of bones who—”

“Old sack of bones can keep it up like a champ and can fuck me better than any stupid boy in this town,” you cut him off, not wanting to hear another word about him being too old for you for such superficial reasons like looks. “And he’s better looking than all of them combined.”

He couldn’t help but grin, shaking his head in quiet defeat. “It’s still hard for me, this whole… romantic, opening-up thing. It’s been too long. I’ve lost too many people.” His voice dipped low, tinged with a sadness that clung to the edges of his words.

“You’re not the only one who’s lost people, Joel,” you replied softly, your fingertips brushing lazy circles on his chest. “But I think we’ve got something real here. I’m not asking for a ring or anything… but I don’t like when you disappear on me. When you act like none of this matters. It hurt.”

“I know,” he said, his thumb sweeping slow arcs along your back, his voice thick with regret. “I was an ass—more than usual. I just…” He paused, pulling you a little closer, like his arms alone could shield you from how clumsy he was with emotions. “I won’t do it again.”

You exhaled a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Let’s just take it slow. I like being with you. You like being with me. That’s all it can be for now. Nothing more.”

He hummed in agreement, content, and maybe a little relieved. He almost couldn’t believe how comfortable he felt with you in his arms, like you fit against him just right.

He pulled the blankets up over both of you, his arm tightening around your waist. Then he pressed a kiss to your temple though you could feel in the tension of his body that he was still holding something back, still terrified of getting used to this, of how badly he wanted it.

“You better rest those hips before they give out, old man,” you teased, smirking against his skin.

He huffed a breath that was somewhere between a laugh and a groan. “My hips are fine, darlin’. You’re the one who’s gonna be needin’ the ice packs tomorrow.”

“Oh, look at you—getting cocky now, Miller,” you laughed.

His fingers trailed slowly down the curve of your body, pausing at your hip. “Ain’t cocky if it’s the truth. Hard not to be when I had you screamin’ like that.”

You snorted softly, swatting at his chest. “And you loved every second of it.”

“Damn right I did,” he said, voice rough with sleep and satisfaction. His hand lingered at your waist, possessive and warm. “Now shut up and go to sleep. Your old man needs his rest.”

Your old man.

[the-witty-pen-name]

Not Just a Neighbor (1)

Simon "Ghost" Riley x PlusSize!F!Reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Summary: When Simon is home from deployment, all he wants to do is sleep, but noise from the apartment next door keeps him tossing and turning- his cute new neighbor's puppy.

Request submitted by anon. Thank you for your request!

Warnings: 18+ MNDI; eventual smut; language; mostly fluff; mentions of PTSD & anxiety

Series Masterlist

He hadn’t been home in months. The drag of his boots got heavier and heavier the closer he got to the front door of his flat. His eyes were heavy and his body was so goddamn sore. All he could think about was getting in his own bed, and he was looking forward to the best night's sleep since he can’t remember when. 

When he gets home, he leaves his duffel by the door with a thud and kicks of his boots. His feet sink into the carpet and he can’t even begin to describe how good it feels to be home. His muscles begin to untense and he’s not moving as rigidly as he was moments ago. 

He desperately wanted a hot shower, and that was his first stop. The water pressure in his building was nothing to write home about, but god did it beat the terrible showers with no pressure on base. The hot water did wonders for his aching muscles. He was beginning to slip back into a normal routine quite quickly. 

He couldn’t wait to fall asleep in his own bed. An actual bed with a plush mattress and pillows that don’t deflect immediately. He’s craving sleep so badly. He steps out of the shower and throws on a pair of his sweatpants. He collapses on his bed instantly, not even bothering to get under the covers. He stretches out on his stomach and he’s feeling the pull of sleep just about to take over him. 

Noise from the other side of his bedroom wall kept him from fully losing himself to sleep. It wasn’t like him, being so used to sleeping wherever on deployment, sounds never bothered him when he tried to sleep. He knew the apartment next to his wouldn’t have stayed vacant forever and perhaps he'd just been spoiled the last time he was home and it was vacant. He tried his best to ignore it. 

Was that a fucking dog? 

After a few attempts of tossing and turning, he was getting sick of this. He could barely stand it. He was so close to sleep and yet, it was like he got a second wind as he got up and headed out into the hallway to give this new neighbor a piece of his mind. He knocks on the door, and he hears another bark from the other side. He’s ready to lay into whoever is on the other side of the door, to cuss them out for not being able to control their dog while others are trying to sleep. 

Everything he intended to say goes out the window when you open your door. 

You’re so pretty.

Pretty eyes, pretty smile with soft cheeks… is that a dimple? Plush skin that looks so soft to the touch. So absolutely fucking beautiful that you make his mouth go dry. He’s completely forgotten why he came over here when you look at him with those eyes and that little head tilt. He should say something. 

“I’m so sorry,” you begin the conversation much to his relief. “Sarge is sick. I’m assuming you heard him barking.” 

“S-Sarge?” 

You nod, apologetically, but he can’t even remember why you’re apologizing until he hears a little yip from behind you. A little dachshund peers at him from behind your legs. It’s clearly a puppy, a really young one at that sporting an obnoxiously large cone for his little body. 

“I’m so sorry, like I explained in the note he’s a rescue..” 

“Note?” 

You left him a note? Something you wrote to him is in his possession and that knowledge makes his stomach flip. He glanced over to his door, and now he finally notices a yellow envelope taped to the front. He steps over and pulls it away. 

“I didn’t see this,” he says, tearing it open. 

“Hi, I’m your new neighbor Sarge. I’m a four month old dachshund. I have PTSD and I’m adjusting to my new home. I’ve recently been adopted and am trying to learn to be a good neighbor. We appreciate your understanding as I’m still in training. Please have a coffee on my mom as a thank you for your patience and support.” 

There’s a gift card attached to the coffee shop next door and he realizes a few other doors have that note as well. You got a small gift card for everyone in this hallway? He feels like an ass now. 

“I didn’t see this,” he explains, dumbly. “Sorry, I just got home from deployment- I’m so tired I must’ve missed it. Thank you for this.” 

You reiterate, overly apologetic, that you’ll do your best to keep the puppy quiet but he can’t even find any ounce of him that cares about that anymore. He can't even focus on what you’re saying, as much as he’s trying, because watching your lips is too distracting. 

As you’re trying to apologize, Sarge makes his way over, waddling from the weight of his cone and he rests his body against Ghost, taking a seat on his foot. God, how could he have ever been upset before? 

“Oh,” you say surprised, cutting yourself off. You look at Sarge, completely baffled. You look back to Simon. “He’s usually afraid of men.” 

Somehow your dog, notorious for barking and cowering in fear at the sight of any man, declared your neighbor- your tall, bulky and intimidating neighbor- safe. Your eyes widen in surprise, but also you can’t help the wide grin that expands across your face. 

“This is huge for him, you have no idea,” you gush. Your excitement makes his heart swell. Your dog likes him, your dog chose him. He wonders if this means maybe if he’s lucky he’ll have a chance with you. He can only hope. 

“Come on, baby,” you say, bending over to pick up the puppy in your arms. Simon quickly shifts his attention to the wall because he definitely wasn’t staring at the subtle way your tank top exposed your cleavage when you bent over. “I’m so sorry again, I promise I’ll do my best to keep him quiet,” you say, moving to close your door. “I hope you’re able to get some rest, you deserve it,” you smile, closing the door with your foot since Sarge was bundled in your arms. 

Simon is left dumbfounded, staring at your closed door for a few moments before he can even shake it off and return to his own apartment. He keeps your note clutched tightly in his hand, reading it over and over, practically tracing the slopes of your pretty handwriting.

[makis-eyebrows]

Request: <33

Little Miss Albon-He

Shy but witty Y/n comes to the paddock for the first time and meets her extended family.

It was a bright, bustling Friday morning at the Silverstone Grand Prix, and the Williams garage was buzzing with mechanics, media, and the smell of burnt rubber and caffeine.

But tucked behind one particular driver’s legs was a small, quiet shadow.

Seven-year-old Y/n Albon-He.

It was her very first race weekend in the paddock.

Normally, she watched every Grand Prix curled up on the couch next to her mom, Lily Muni He, popcorn in one hand and her favorite plush bunny in the other. Her dad, Alexander Albon, was “the cool guy on the screen” who drove really fast and waved at the camera after finishing interviews.

But this weekend was different.

Alex had asked gently one evening, “Would you want to come with me to a race? You don’t have to talk to anyone. Just… see what Dad does.”

She hesitated. Then nodded. “Only if I get a paddock pass like yours.”

He smiled. “Deal.”

Now here they were — Y/n in a tiny Williams hoodie, her long hair tucked under a cap two sizes too big, her small hand gripping the hem of her dad’s race suit like it was a lifeline.

“Darling, you’re okay,” Lily soothed gently, kneeling to fix the cap and tuck Y/n’s hair behind her ear. “Remember what we said. Just breathe and be yourself.”

Y/n nodded, her lower lip wobbling slightly.

Alex bent down too, giving her a wink. “They’re just my weird friends. You’ll survive.”

Y/n whispered back, “You didn’t say they were loud weird friends.”

First Encounter: George Russell

George had been the first to spot the tiny shadow behind Alex’s leg.

“Well, would you look at that!” George grinned. “Mini Albon’s finally made her debut!”

Y/n peeked out, eyes narrowing. “You’re… the man with the very neat hair.”

Alex choked on a laugh. George blinked.

“I—thank you? I think?”

“She watches the races,” Lily whispered to George with a grin. “She’s got notes.”

Y/n, now slightly bolder, added under her breath: “You talk very posh.”

George burst out laughing. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Next Up: Carlos Sainz and Charles Leclerc

In the Ferrari garage, Carlos knelt to her level with a big smile. “Hola, pequeña. I’m Carlos. Your dad tells me you’re very clever.”

“I know three languages,” Y/n said matter-of-factly. “But I’m not fluent yet because I’m only seven.”

Charles leaned in. “Do you know how to drive?”

Y/n looked at him like he was slightly insane. “Do you know how to park?”

Carlos lost it. Alex gave her a high five.

A growing croud

Word spread fast that Alex brought Y/n.

Pierre Gasly brought her a macaron. Yuki tried to race her in a mini go-kart (she won). Daniel Ricciardo made her laugh so hard she had to sit down.

Eventually, someone gave her a tiny headset and a lanyard that read “WILLIAMS VIP CREW – Y/N A.”

“She’s officially on the team now,” joked a mechanic as she scribbled on the pit wall whiteboard:

“Go Dad Go! Or else >:(”

Lily sipped her coffee proudly while watching her daughter flourish.

“She’s more like Alex than she thinks,” she said.

“She’s like you too,” Alex murmured, watching Y/n curtsy after making Fernando Alonso bow to her during a silly ‘royalty game’ someone started.

Back in the Garage

Later that day, after a long walk through the paddock, Y/n curled up in the corner of the hospitality suite with Lily’s sweater and a juice box.

Alex came over and sat next to her quietly.

“You did good today, bub.”

She nodded. “I liked it… once I stopped hiding.”

“I’m proud of you,” he said softly. “And so is Mom.”

“Next time,” Y/n said, sipping her juice, “I want my own radio so I can tell you when you’re being slow.”

Alex blinked. “Wow. Okay.”

“And I want to press the green button. You know, the one that makes you go faster.”

“…That’s not how it works.”

“Is that what you tell everyone when they ask why you finished P12?” she smirked.

Alex looked betrayed. Lily cackled in the background.

As the Weekend Ended

As the sun set over Silverstone, Y/n sat on Alex’s shoulders, waving at the fans and grinning wide as her little face made its first appearance on the big paddock screens.

“She’s got your wit,” Charles said, watching her steal sunglasses from drivers.

“She’s got your grace,” Alex said to Lily, as Y/n bowed dramatically in front of a camera.

“And she’s got your sass,” Lily returned, laughing. “We’re doomed.”

Alex just smiled, his heart full.

Because even if she started the weekend hiding behind his legs…

…Y/n Albon-He had just owned the paddock.

AHH another story done. I actually quite enjoy doing this.

But anyways pookie, I hope you enjoyed this and you like the way it came out :)

That's Gang Gang out!!! ♡

[mrsfudd]

princess

You were half way through your pregnancy and it was rough. Your back, ankles and feet were in constant pain. Paige, your wife had always done everything she could to help you. You were planning your baby shower and since you want gender fitting clothes, today you and Paige find out the gender. Your best friend already knew what the baby was but you and Paige wanted to wait.

“Baby, I’m home and I got your ice cream” Paige yelled out coming through the door. She walked all around your house trying to find you. You loved your home, it was modern but classy, very spacious with lots of natural sunlight. Paige finally found you in the bedroom laying on your maternity pillow. “Hi princess, how you feeling?”

“A little better” You say face still in the pillow. The baby was beating your ass today. You threw up twice and could barely walk without getting nauseous. You begged Paige to go out and get your favorite ice cream. It was the only thing you wouldn’t immediately puke. “What took you so long?”

“Fans baby, they followed me all around the target until I saw them then asked for a picture. Like why couldn’t they just ask me the first time they saw me, don’t they know I have a wife to tend to” Paige started ranting until she remembered you were suffering. “Sorry, sorry here mama sit up”.

You slowly sat up, brushing your hair out of your face. “Thank you Paige” You say immediately digging in.

Paige watched you enjoy the treat, it was so hot in dallas and it was only the first week of june. She giggled at the mess you were making on your face. She wiped it off with her thumb and licked her finger.

“You ready for tonight?” Paige asked laying her head on your thigh.

“Hm, so ready” You say with a mouthful of ben and jerry’s.

6:26 pm

“Babe, we gotta go the sun sets in a hour or so” Paige says button up her white shirt.

“I know im coming, help me grab my camera please” You yell from the other room.

“Already got it baby” Paige said.

“Oh your my angel” You say walking towards Paige.

“Sexy mamaa” Paige said as you stood in front of her.

you wore a white skims jumpsuit with some cute sandals.

“Aww you grabbed my bag and everything?” You say getting on your tippy toes to kiss her.

“Of course baby” She said grabbing your waist.

Before you said anything else she crouched down and gave your belly a kiss “ One for you too”.

You walk hand and hand out the door, Paige walked behind you making sure she stayed at your pace.

She helped you get into the car and drove to your best friends house. She got a gender reveal cake and you and Paige were going to use champagne glasses to cut into the cake.

You stayed in the car as your wife went to pick up the cake. She made a silly face walking back to the car making you giggle. She drove down to the beach and set up a blanket to sit on.

Paige helps you sit down then sits right next to you, she puts the cake in front of you two and hands you a glass.

“Ready mama?” Paige asks setting up her phone to record the reaction.

“Yes baby, oh my gosh im so nervous” You say looking over at Paige.

“Me too baby, me too but no more stalling” Paige says rubbing your back.

You and her put the glasses on top on the cake and put slight pressure on the glass.

You tried not close your eyes as you pull out the glass.

You catch the slightest glimpse of the baby pink frosting and before you can even react Paige wraps her around you.

Her warm embrace felt so comforting, tears stream down your as you pull Paige in closer, cautious of not trying to squish the baby.

Paige pulls back and puts her arms on your shoulder. The look on her face is something you’d never forget. A tear rolls down her face and you wipe it with your thumb.

“A girl baby, a girl!” Paige exclaims.

“Paige I- I can’t believe it” You say looking in her eyes.

“I know baby, I can’t either” Paige said as she leaned in to kiss you.

The kiss was soft and long. You loved the taste of Paiges lips and knew it well but today it felt different. It tasted like your future with her and baby girl. A life full of love and light. Peaceful and meaningful days with the loves of your life.

Paige pulls back from the kiss, this is the happiest you seen her since your wedding.

“Now we have two princesses” Paige says with a giggle.

“Paige you need to try this cake, mm its so good” You say taking a bite from the glass.

“You like that baby? Ice cream now some cake” Paige says rubbing your belly.

“Oh she loves it” You say laughing.

You and Paige stayed on the beach til dark. You laid on her chest, enjoying your cake while you listened to the waves and watched the sunset.

You and Paige took some pictures on your digital camera, packed the car and started driving home.

Paiges hand rested on your stomach while the other one sat on the wheel comfortably.

You fell asleep on the drive home, not wanting to wake you since she knew you were going to get much sleep after the baby came she carried you up to the bed and took of your shoes for you.

She gave you a gentle kiss on your forehead then your belly saying “ Goodnight princesses”.

[heartsforjh]

hi lovely, congrats on 100!! may i request luke hughes and acts of service, with him giving to reader? thank you so much, xoxo 🩷

ofc lovely !! this one is short and sweet, hope that’s okay 🫶 (also it wasn’t specified exactly WHICH acts of service so i just went with a brand new idea!)

main masterlist | 100 follower celly masterlist

You groan, sitting at your desk, and staring at this dumb study guide. Even with a big help like this, all hope feels lost. Chemistry is not your strong suit. But, of course, life. You have to do things you’d normally avoid like the plague… ahem… this final you’re taking tomorrow! 

Your boyfriend, Luke, quietly slips into the room, not wanting to disturb you. He’s headed towards the bed, before he notices you. Your head is in your hands and you look the farthest thing from okay. 

“Baby?” he says, a sad tone in his voice already. It’s like he can immediately feel all of your frustration. 

You pick your head up, looking over at him, unaware he was in the room to begin with. “Uh, yeah? What’s up?” 

“You okay, sweet girl?” he asks, coming over and wrapping his arms around your shoulders from behind. 

You shoot a fake smile up at him before looking back to what you’re working on. “I’m fine. Just… studying chem.” 

He groans at that last word. This guy knows everything. Including your beef with chemistry. “That sucks. I’m sorry. Need help?” 

“No,” you answer, not even thinking it through. “I’ve got it.” 

“You sure? You know, you’re not bothering me by getting some help? I think it’d be good for you to talk about it out loud. Might help you remember better,” he pushes, knowing how you can be. 

You honestly feel called out. He pretty much hit the nail on the head. “Um… well, I guess, if you want to, you can. You don’t have to, though.” 

“Of course I want to.  Are you kidding me? I’ll be right back,” he says, hurrying out of the room. 

You have no idea what he’s doing, but you decide to just get all of your topics for study set up. The both of you will be lost if you don’t. Shortly after you’re done, Luke comes back in. He’s got a crisp looking glass of ice water in his hands, and sets it–along with some medicine–in front of you. 

“For your head,” he nods. 

You’re a bit caught off guard. “How’d you know my head hurts?” 

“Baby, your head always hurts when you get stressed like this,” he laughs. 

He’s not wrong. He sits next to you on the extra chair that he had dragged in here when you first started seeing each other for moments exactly like this one. “So, what do we gotta do?” 

Luke stays and works with you, not complaining a single time. He’s patient, gentle, and helpful in the way he works through the questions with you. The two of you only wrap the study session up when you’re ready. 

“You didn’t have to do all that, Lu,” you tell him, packing your supplies back up. 

He packs your things as well, but quickly shuts your comment down. “I know. But, you deserve a little extra help right now. You’ve been working so hard.” 

You feel like you’re going to cry, suddenly getting a sense of validation. Somebody sees how much you’ve been trying finally. 

“And hey, you’re gonna kill this test tomorrow. All this that you’ve been doing? It’ll pay off. I promise you that,” he reassures, pulling you into a hug. 

As Luke places a kiss to the crown of your head then rests his own head on yours, you feel a lot more confident. To be completely honest, you had your doubts. You still do to a certain extent. But, if Luke can see your mistakes and still believe that you’ve got this, why shouldn’t you believe in yourself? 

tags: @beenucks @mainly-miracle @nic0-hischier @emsdevs @puckmedude @joesnumerouno @alex-wotton @r0wdymaize86 @macklin-celebrini-71 @randomcuboidshape @when-im-with-you @quillycrow @rainyvalentines @alwaysclassyeagle @star2fishmeg @wackomcgee @cheesecakeinahole @dancerbailey3 @hwalllllllelujah

join the taglist here! :)

[mapofsouthdakota]

Maps headcanons -

🧡 Caleb left you another letter

Caleb’s confession fluff

Details: 600 words. In case you wanted another letter as much as I did: Here you go. Happy tears, some light angst, and a whole lot of fluff. Yep, my brain fully exploded… just like our favorite guy lol (: Enjoy!

You find the letter tucked under the chipped ceramic mug you always told him to throw out—the one he swore made your tea taste better “because it was seasoned with your judgment.”

The envelope has your name in the center. Nothing else.

His handwriting curls beautifully. The ink is clean, settled into the paper like he gave it time to dry. And that somehow makes your heart beat harder.

You settle onto the couch, still in your pajamas, legs curled beneath you as you open it.

——————————————————————————

Hey Pip-squeak,

If you’re reading this, I’m already in the sky. Don’t pout, I know you’re pouting. (Is it wrong that I sort of love when you do that? You get that little crease in your forehead. It’s adorable. Don’t roll your eyes, I know you are)

Anyway, I wasn’t going to write a long one this time. But then I thought… why not? I mean, I already gave you my apple jam recipe and you know I don’t give up my cooking secrets easily. (You better not burn it, by the way. I will haunt you…)

So, I’ve been writing you letters since before I knew how to spell your name properly. Remember that one? You kept it. Said my backwards ‘e’ made it look “fancy.” I was eight and ready to marry you. You just rolled your eyes and stole my pudding cup.

But alright, I’m stalling.

There’s something I keep almost saying. Almost. Every time I leave, it gets heavier in my throat. You always look at me like you know, and maybe you do… you’re sharp like that.

But… I don’t think you realize… You’ve always been mine.

Since scraped knees and stupid dares and you making me laugh so hard I snorted juice out my nose. Since the time I got hurt and you sat at my bedside pretending not to cry. Since you made tea at 3 a.m. and didn’t say a word when you passed me a cup and sat beside me until the shaking stopped.

You’ve always been mine.

And I’ve always been yours. When you fixed my collar before school pictures. When you stayed up with me after bad dreams. Even when you held me like you were afraid I’d vanish again… when you held me like I was still whole…

You have carved your name into my bones.

I just didn’t know how to say it. Maybe I still don’t, not the way you deserve to hear it. But I feel it.

There are days I’m up in the sky, clouds breaking around me, and I think: She would love this. Not the flying. But the feeling of it. The way it opens you up and folds you back in at the same time. That’s what loving you feels like.

You scare the hell out of me. You make me want, and I’ve spent my whole life learning not to want too much… especially not you. But god, I do. I want everything with you.

So yeah. This is the part where I finally say it, plain as I can:

I love you.

I’ve always loved you. And it’s only getting worse. Or better. Or both.

If I come back from this (and I will, because I still owe you a dance, a fight, and a honeymoon, even if we haven’t done the middle part yet), I’ll say it again. I’ll say it properly.

I’ll say it as many times as you’ll let me. I’ll say it in the mornings, with kisses against your neck. In the quiet, with hugs that last too long. I’ll say it in every breath, every soft touch, every look across a room. Until you’re tired of hearing it and even then, I’ll whisper it one more time. Just to make sure you never forget.

But for now, let this be the one you keep under your pillow, until I come home and steal it back.

Yours, from the sandbox to the sky, in every way that matters,

Caleb

——————————————————————————

[sereia4skz]

hi hi!! this is in favour of my birth week, cause it’s my bday this money ٩(๑>ᴗ<๑)۶ yay!!!!!!! i’m here to keep you updated about the events with your followers special (which is so so cool btw, congrats) so ahem, lemme get into character for the request

Dear Reia,

It’s been quite fun hanging out with Felix and his pack, despite the hot heat of the summer. Though as my birthday approaches, I kinda miss spending the day together with you mucking about and eating out for dinner. I haven’t really made a big deal about my birthday up until now but since it’s me on my own I’ve started to miss how sweet the little outings were. But accidentally Jeongin found out about my birthday this week, the fox hybrid that is in Felix’s pack. He insists on dragging me to the shops, saying that a new wardrobe is a must for a birthday— or at least buying something is. He even spent his own money on it, that stressed me out so much. I got everything from these nice skirt that are a bit short to pretty dress. I also bought something for you with my own money too. Jeongin is so kind and adorable, his hair gets all fluffy in the mornings when I see him. It’s nice, that he felt comfortable taking me out.

That white fox even took me out for dinner at this nice ramen place, inviting Felix along with us. That sneaky kitten got me a necklace, this necklace with a watch pendent—a picture of a creek painted on where you read the time. But it was a bit awkward, the two tugging me to sit next to one of them in the booth or trying to talk over each other. Felix even bite me! Like full on, trying to break my skin biting! It was interesting. I hope they can sort it out.

From, 🐣 anon.

have fun and take it in whatever direction you like using the request stuff!!! it can be written with fake text messages as well if you want., thank you and pretty please (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))♡

1k Followers Event | birthday shopping

pairing: fox!Jeongin x reader x kitten!Felix

genre: fluff, suggestive

warnings: mild MxM, they get interrupted, themes of marking (licking and biting), dry humping, jealousy (jeongin)

event masterlist: #1kShootingStars

━━━━━━━━━━━━⋆｡°✩

My dear little 🐣,

I’m glad your trip is going well.  Happy Birthday <3!! 

You let Jeongin take you shopping before I could??? Rude. Treason. I’m drafting your betrayal charges as we speak. You buying me something… Now you’re not supposed to give presents when it’s your birthday, baby bird. Happy the boys took you out anyways tho, a birthday should be celebrated.  

I don’t remember Felix to be a biter, how strange, it must be something he picked up from his pack. I hope your night went well regardless. 

I can’t wait to hear more about your adventures.

━━━━━━━━━━━━⋆｡°✩

The day had been fun. A little long with the hot summer sun hitting your skin, but fun regardless. You weren’t used to making a big deal about your birthday usually but with Felix around, he had let it slip that your day was coming up. 

Jeongin had insisted on taking you out shopping early in the week, saying that you always needed a new outfit for your birthday. That's how you ended up at dinner with him and Felix, at a nice little ramen place a short drive from the cabin. With a new little skirt paid for by the little fox and adorned with the necklace Felix had given you as an early gift.

Dinner was an awkward affair with Jeongin and Felix fighting for your attention. Although it was cute that they bickered like this in the pack, it had been a long time since you've seen Felix this comfortable with anyone. 

You were lost in your thoughts when you felt a breath on your shoulder, before you even had time to turn around and look at the person responsible you felt his tongue run against your skin. His teeth barely have time to sink into your shoulder before he's yanked away. You turn around surprised to see Jeongin holding Felix by the neck.

“Hyung!” the younger boy scolded the sneaky kitten. Felix, looked at you like the cat who got the cream, a look that had been showing up on his face more and more these days, and gave a soft hiss, but didn’t fight back. His tail flicked with annoyance, but his eyes stayed trained on you like he’d already won whatever game was being played.

You blinked at both of them, shoulder still tingling where Felix’s teeth had grazed your skin. The heat of the day had nothing on the warmth creeping up your neck now.

Jeongin released him with a grumble, brushing down the collar of your shirt like he was checking for damage. “You can’t just bite people when they’re zoning out, hyung.”

Felix smirked. “Didn’t see her complaining.”

You glanced between them, caught between laughter and the urge to throw something. Probably a dumpling. “Okay, okay, enough,” you said, raising both hands like a peacekeeper. “No biting. And no fighting in front of the nice old lady who runs this restaurant.”

At that, both boys went quiet, sheepish glances darting toward the counter where the owner was very obviously pretending not to listen in while aggressively wiping down a spotless surface.

After that, you and the boys are quick to vacate the restaurant under the watchful gaze of the old lady. Before you know it, you’re back at the cabin.

It’s dark and quiet, very uncharacteristic, as you’ve come to learn. You look around as you toe off your shoes, peering down the dark hallway before flicking on the lights.

“They’re probably playing in the woods… The moon is out tonight,” Felix mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck. His words hang in the air, the quiet of the cabin settling like a blanket over the three of you.

You pad toward your room, fingers toying with the hem of your skirt, the fabric still warm from the summer air. “I guess we’re alone tonight, huh?”

Jeongin hums behind you. “Lucky us.”

You roll your eyes at his tone, but your grin betrays you. When you push open the bedroom door, Felix is already toeing off his socks and dropping onto your bed like he owns it.

“You’re not even gonna ask?” you say, raising a brow.

Felix stretches across your mattress like a satisfied cat. “Our cabin.”

Jeongin follows, a little more hesitant, lingering at the door. “I can stay too, right?”

You tilt your head at him, smirking. “I suppose with that logic, yes?”

You go to change, and that’s all it takes, by the time you come back, the fox has shrugged off his hoodie and tossed it onto your desk chair before settling on the other side of your bed. You giggle as they settle in.

“I swear,” you mutter as you flop between them, “if you two start wrestling again, I’m kicking both of you out.”

Felix nuzzles into you, propping his chin on your shoulder. “Just cuddling.”

Jeongin pouts, wrapping an arm around your waist like a claim.

You snort, pressing your face into the pillow. “You’re both needy.”

“Only for you,” they say, at the same time.

The silence that follows is… charged. You feel it before you see it, Felix shifting behind you, Jeongin’s breath hitching just slightly. You peek through your lashes just in time to catch it.

Felix kisses him.

Quick. Soft. Barely more than a press of lips.

But it’s enough to still the room.

Jeongin blinks, stunned. “What was that?”

Felix only shrugs. “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

You exhale, dragging your hand over your face. “At least you two are figuring it out.”

They both look at you then, like remembering you’re there at all, and just like that, the attention snaps back to you like a rubber band. 

Jeongin shifts first, his hand sliding beneath the hem of your shorts where his knuckles brush against the bare skin of your thigh. Felix leans in close again, nose skimming along your neck before you feel his tongue, hot, slow, teasing, dragging across the same spot he’d tried to bite earlier.

“You taste sweet,” Felix whispers against your skin.

“She’s mine tonight,” Jeongin mutters, pulling your leg to cross his and pressing kisses trailing after Felix’s saliva.

“You have to share, she was mine first,” Felix purrs, fingers ghosting over your waist, his mouth leaving damp trails that cool too fast against your overheated skin.

You don’t say anything.

You can feel both of them getting bolder as the moments drag on. Felix’s teeth graze your skin again, this time along your jawline, his hands slipping under your shirt as his thumbs brush against your bare ribs. Although the contact isn’t unusual in your friendship, it’s been a long time, it’s become forgotten, and the addition of the fennec boy’s affections has your skin buzzing.

Jeongin is gentle. His lips trail kisses along your collarbone and then to the side of your neck, slow and deliberate, as if trying to savor every moment.

You let out a quiet sigh, eyes fluttering shut as Felix’s lips press a kiss at the corner of your mouth. His fingers grip your waist, pulling you closer to his chest until you can feel the heat of him against your back. It’s hard not to melt at the sensation of Jeongin’s soft kisses mixed with Felix’s fiery touches.

“God, you’re perfect,” Felix whispers, his breath a hot puff against your skin. His hand slides lower, teasing the waistband of your sleep shorts, before moving up to cradle the side of your face, pulling you toward him with a surprisingly tender kiss.

You barely have time to react when Jeongin’s hand slides over your thigh, his fingertips brushing dangerously close to the hem of your shorts, brushing Felix’s. His lips, still soft but insistent, move to your shoulder, leaving a trail of warm kisses.

But then, just as you feel Felix’s fingers begin to move lower, footsteps echo from the cabin’s entrance. The front door opens, followed by the sound of voices, the boys are home.

“Be quiet, boys… They might be sleeping,” Chan’s voice rings out despite his hushed tone, followed by the soft footsteps as the others disperse to their rooms.

Jeongin immediately freezes, his face turning a shade of red as he pulls his hands away. He clears his throat, looking embarrassed but still wearing that adorable, shy smile that makes it hard to stay mad at him. Felix smooths out the hem of your shorts as if to ‘fix’ the accidental mess he’s caused.

“We should rest,” Felix whispers in your ear, just loud enough for the fluffy-haired boy to hear.

“Can we stay?” the other boy asks, hopeful.

The tension that had been thick in the room evaporates almost immediately, replaced with the normal, relaxed atmosphere you’ve grown used to with them.

“Okay… just for tonight,” you whisper back, settling comfortably between the two.

It doesn’t take long for the weight of the day to catch up to you. You close your eyes, Felix’s warmth at your back, Jeongin’s soft breaths beside you, and the distant noise of the others in the house fading into the background.

Just for tonight, you think as you drift off.

━━━━━━━━━━━━⋆｡°✩

taglist: @diekleinesuesse @tillaboo @felixsonlyrealwife @geni-627 @skz8riley @lezleeferguson-120 @pixie-felix @headfirstfortoro @alnex05 @baby-stay92 @encoredesires @androgynouscrownorbit @channiesluvrclub @my-neurodivergent-world @chims-dimple @bookswillfindyouaway @stellasays45 @angel-writes-skz-here

[saiyanprincessswanie]

Hidden Treasure

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Word Count: 1653

Summary: You surprise Bucky by wearing a gift he got you and he has a hard time keeping his hands to himself.

Warnings: swearing, smut, butt plug

A/N: For @avengers-assemble-bingo AA-Kinky Bingo with square Public Sex & Butt Plug. Card (KB010)

A/N 2: Thank you to my Beta readers @late-to-the-party-81 & @lfnr-blog-blog-blog also @late-to-the-party-81 for the header & Stella @stellar-solar-flare for the idea behind this.

Please Read, Reblog, & Comment. It lets me know you like my work. 😊💜

I do NOT consent to translating or reposting my work on any social media platform, app, or third-party site or run through AI. If you see my work anywhere besides my personal Tumblr & AO3 accounts, it has been stolen.

Tonight was going to be a night to remember because you had planned a special surprise for your boyfriend, Bucky. He’s always talked about being spontaneous in your relationship and you’d always been eager to indulge him. The pair of you fucked a lot and literaly anywhere you could get your hands on each other, so it wasn’t surprising that tonight you’d had the idea to indulge in some public sex. To make it even better you’d also decided to wear a pink jewel butt plug. The pair of you always talked about different positions and scenarios to incorporate in your sex lives, so tonight you were going to plan the best sexcapade ever with your man.

You were looking at yourself in the mirror and when you turned around you could see the pink jewel sparkling at you. Just looking at it, you knew Bucky was going to lose his mind when he realised you were wearing it. You pulled the cute dress you had on down over your hips and hid the hidden treasure, wondering how long it would take him to find it. 

When you heard a knock on the door, a giggle escaped your lips. When you open it, Bucky is standing there, just taking you in. “Hey, doll, you're looking fine as hell tonight. Are you sure you don’t wanna stay in and cuddle? I could do that thing you like with my tongue.” He pokes it out from between his lips, attempting to demonstrate, but you stopped him.

“Bucky, you promised to take me out tonight. We can have fun later I promise,” you plead with him.

“But I’m feeling pretty horny,” he pouted. “I just want to sink my cock deep in your pussy and feel you squeeze around it.” A little frisky, Bucky chased you around the apartment as you squealed in delight. When he eventually caught you and pinned you against the wall, he reached around to squeeze your butt, but instead nudged your butt plug.

“What do we have here?” He questioned you with a lear as he lifted up your dress, spun you and took a good look at the toy nestled between your butt cheeks. Looking back over your shoulder, you saw Bucky’s mouth drop open and you swore he had hearts in his eyes. “Oh, doll, you’re in so much trouble. No panties and a butt plug? Now I have to play with you before we go out.” 

“Bucky,” you whined out. “It was supposed to be a surprise.”

“Well, I’m definitely surprised, that's for sure.” Bucky stepped back, his hands on his hips, and he licked his lips.

“Please, let's just go out for a little while and then we can play afterwards. I promise you can take what you want then. I’m all dressed up just for you so we can go on a date. Please, Bucky, let's go have some fun tonight.” You were at the point of begging and you weren’t ashamed to be doing so.

“I can’t say no to you, doll. Not now, not ever. But later your body is mine. Let’s head out and go to the new club. I’ve heard it's very nice and that Tony Stark is an amazing host.”

“Sounds good, Bucky.” You grabbed your keys and ID before skipping out the door with your boyfriend trailing behind you. As you locked up Bucky slapped your butt and chuckled to himself. You knew his patience was going to wear thin tonight, so you were going to have to make the most out of your date.

Bucky drove you both to the Stark club which luckily wasn’t far from your apartment. Although, having you arrived and observed the large line outside, you started to doubt if you would actually get in tonight. However, Bucky just grabbed your hand and bypassed everyone, heading straight to the door. When he stopped in front of the bouncer, Bucky gave his name and just like that, he let you both in.

“I didn’t know you knew someone here.”

Bucky smiled at you. “I know the manager Steve, we go back many years.”

“I’m impressed. Let’s grab a drink — I need liquid courage if I’m going to dance.”

"You have as many as you want doll, but I'm gonna just have the one - I am driving after all."

You made your way over to the bar and Bucky ordered a pair of beers, paying for both. Transaction completed, you walked over to a table and sat down. You both started talking about how your days have been. Bucky started, telling you about how he’s ready to fire an employee named John for all his screw ups he has been making and in turn you told him about your crazy day at work. As you were talking, Bucky stared at you with his cool blue eyes, and when you finished he asked, “What made you finally choose the butt plug?”

Your cheeks got hot and you squirmed in your seat at the mention of it, making the item itself shift inside you. “You said you wanted me to surprise you sometime, so I figured I’d do just that and use the butt plug you bought me for my birthday a few weeks ago.” You shifted again, but this time more purposeful, keeping your gaze locked on your boyfriend’s. “Have to say it fits nice and snug. Makes me yearn for your big cock to be inside of me.”

Bucky growled. “Keep talking like that and I may just have to give you what you want.”

In response, you seductively drank your beer, your tongue swirling around the top before your lips wrapped around the top as you took a long pull of your drink. When you swallowed you made a show of it and licked your lips. For good measure, you added a small throaty moan which threatened to turn into a giggle as Bucky picked up his own drink and started to chug it. You knew you’d got to him. His cock was probably hard enough to pound nails and he wasn’t waiting any longer.

“Come with me,” he said gruffly, as he placed his now empty beer bottle on the table.

You finished off your own drink just as quickly and took his outstretched hand. Bucky pulled you efficiently through the crowds of people and toward the back of the club. He pushed through an exit-only door and headed outside, pulling you along in his wake. As soon as the door closed he was on you. 

His lips crashed against yours in a heated kiss and his hands grabbed your ass. You moaned into his mouth when he pulled your dress up over your hips and started playing with the butt plug. The sensation was so good, and you could feel your pussy getting wet.

“Wait until we get home — my cock is going to replace that plug. I’m going to fuck that ass real good.”

“Fuck, Bucky. I need you.” You kissed him all over his face, waiting for him to dominate you.

“Then you’ll have me,” he replied, huskily. 

Bucky lifted you off your feet and you quickly wrapped your legs around his trim waist, your back resting against the wall as Bucky pulled himself free of his pants. Rubbing his cock through your wet folds until he was slick with your arousal made him groan, but he didn’t delay in placing the tip of his cock at your entrance and sinking into you. Now it was your turn to let out a noise of pleasure. However, he allowed you no time to adjust, immediately thrusting up into you, hard and fast. The pair of you moan, not holding anything back and you meet him thrust for thrust as he takes you apart piece by piece.

The thought of getting caught spurred you on as you let Bucky take control of your body. He thrust into you over and over again, his eyes locked with yours. On a particularly hard thrust, he sealed his lips over yours and swallowed your moans. 

“Fuck princess,” he mumbled against you. “You feel so tight around me. Gonna let me fill you up like a good girl?”

You answered him with a filthy kiss, before adding, “I want it, Buck. Need you to fill me up.”

Harder and faster Bucky pistoned into you as you panted his name. One hand reached between you and he started to rub at your clit with quick motions which was all that you needed to tip over the edge, your panting turning to a cry that echoed into the night's sky. 

“Bucky!”

Your walls squeezed and spasmed around his cock which made Bucky’s pace falter. However, as soon as you came down from your high he chased his orgasm with a few hard thrusts, before he spilled inside of you. 

For a few moments Bucky didn’t move, just catching his breath. However, he didn’t wait too long before he pulled out of you and placed you back on your feet. Tucking himself back into his pants, he then helped you smooth some of the wrinkles from your dress before he leaned back into you and kissed you like his life depended on it.

“Princess, can we go home now? I’m more than ready to play with this butt plug and your ass.” 

“But Bucky, I didn't even get to dance tonight,” you pouted at him.

“I’ll do the horizontal tango with you all night long, instead,” Bucky smirked back at you as you giggled. “This time we won’t have to rush and I can take my time with you. What do you say, princess?”

“How can I say no to this handsome face? Fine, but next week you’re bringing me back here for the full experience. Deal?”

“Deal, love. Now let’s hurry before I have to take you in the car.”

Tags:

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@avengersfan25

[fou4summer]

Loud neighbor

kim minjeong × fem!reader

Synopsis: You found your new neighbor Minjeong annoying, too loud and weird, but after one night everything changed.

Warnings: smut!, rough sex, strap use, kinda enemies to lovers, thats it i thinkkk

Genre: smut, fluff

Word count: 1.8k

You hated going to work early in the morning, but at least it was peaceful. Until today.

You woke up before your alarm thanks to voices echoing through the hallway. Annoyed, you got up, opened your door just a crack, and peeked out. There was a guy with boxes, and behind him a shorter girl with brown hair and bangs.

"You can put that one there thanks!" She chirped. Way too smiley. Way too bubbly. Like it wasn’t 8AM.

You sighed and dragged yourself back inside to get dressed.

Later, as you left your apartment, you bumped into the same girl from the hall. What the hell was she doing near your place when you'd seen her way down the hall?

"Oh hi! I’m so sorry! I just wanted to give the neighbors these chocolate bars. Very tasty by the way!" Her voice was deep. Like, surprisingly deep. It didn’t match her cute, innocent face at all.

You looked down and.....yep. Chocolate bar in hand.

"I don’t need this." You grabbed it and put it back in her hand.

Her smile faltered. Just for a second. Like she was hoping to make a friend. Too bad. You didn’t talk to your neighbors unless you had to and none of them had ever irritated you like this one.

—

Work was brutal. Your boss dumped a last minute task on you, so you ended up staying late. By the time you got home, all you wanted was to lay down and pretend the day hadn’t happened.

And then? Loud music. Not just loud, it was brain melting loud. You knew exactly who it was. Storming down the hall, you pounded on her door. She opened it casually, wearing a white shirt and underwear.

“Oh hey neighbor! You still haven’t told me your name, but you show up this late? Do you maybe want that chocolate ba—”

"I, not maybe, want you to shut the fuck up and turn that shit off. Its one in the morning. Some of us actually work." You snapped. She just stood there, staring at you with those wide eyes like you hadn’t just yelled at her.

"What are you staring at freak?" You snapped.

"You look really hot like that. Can you yell at me again?" She tilted her head and stepped closer.

Your mouth fell open. What?

Then you noticed her gaze drop to your chest and you remembered. You weren’t wearing anything under your shirt.

"Stop looking weirdo!" You shouted, slapping her lightly across the face.

She recoiled instantly clutching her cheek. "O-Ow! What was that for?! I was just observi—"

You cut her off again with a shove. "Don’t make me come here again."

You turned around and walked off, but just as you reached your door, she yelled after you.

"Minjeong!"

You turned, confused.

"My name is Minjeong, Y/N!"

You rolled your eyes and shut the door behind you....Wait?

How the fuck did she know your name?

You couldn’t stop thinking about it. Actually, you couldn’t stop thinking about her. No. No, you did not like the weird neighbor who thought it was a good idea to blast Deftones at 2AM.

—

The next morning, as you were leaving for work, you saw her outside the building. She was showing some comic book pages to another girl. The girl wasn’t even looking at the pages. She was looking at Minjeong. You didn’t care. You didn’t want to push her away. You didn’t hate that she was laughing with someone else.

Lies. All lies. You tried to pass by unnoticed, but she spotted you instantly.

"Y/N! Good morning!" She called out, waving excitedly.

"Morning." You kept walking, hoping that would be the end of it. It wasn’t. She followed.

"Well, we made progress. You said good morning."

"I said morning. Not good morning. If it were a good morning, I wouldn’t be talking to you right now." She laughed, like you hadn’t just insulted her again.

"Stop following me. Go back to your girlfriend."

"G-Girlfriend?! Wait—I'm confused. You mean the girl I was just talking to? She’s my childhood frie—"

"I don’t care who she is. I don’t care about you. You’re just a loser trapped in a hot body—" You slapped your hand over your mouth mid sentence. Minjeong smirked.

"Oh? What was that Y/N?" She poked your shoulder teasingly.

"Don’t touch me." You stepped onto the bus just as she waved goodbye. You flipped her off. She laughed again.

—

"You guys don’t understand, shes so annoying." You ranted to your friends at lunch. "She was showing some random girl her stupid comic books and the girl was just staring at her like she was in love or something." Your friend calmly reached over and put a finger on your mouth.

"Girl....Are you sure you are not in love with her?"

"What?! Ew! With that nerd? Never." Your friends burst out laughing.

"Hey is this her?" One of them said, holding up a phone. "I think I found her insta." You looked.

Her feed was chaos. Guitars, concerts, selfies with her tongue out, comics, her friends, her band. And of course, one clip of her playing guitar absolutely shredding.

"Y/N if this is her, you are so dumb for not being in her bed right now..." Your other friend added.

"Okay you can obsess at home. I’ll send you her profile. Hopefully you keep both hands on your phone…"

"Sure—Wait what the fuck?! Don’t send me her—and excuse me?!" You shouted, your face burning as your friends cracked up.

—

You took a nap after your lunch with friends. You woke up 20 minutes later sweaty and panting. You had a dream of Minjeong. Her touching you, kissing you....You couldn't take it anymore.

You clicked her profile that your friends sent you earlier and scrolled through the pictures. The video of her playing a guitar really good. You wished you were that guitar so bad that you put your hand in your underwear slowly pushing two fingers inside already. You were soaking wet....for Minjeong. Stupid loud neighbor next door that you couldn't stand. You were so close, whimpering and moaning her name when you heard a knock. You opened it standing awkwardly and then you saw her.

"You called me didn't you Y/N?" You froze at her words gulping and shaking your head.

"But when I came by to give you cookies earlier and as I was about to knock you were like 'Minjeong...please go faster, please fuck me harder!' am I wron—" You covered her mouth with your hand before pulling her inside. She laughed making you even more frustrated.

You shut the door before kissing her hungrily. You were pathetic, yet you wanted her so bad.

"Easy there..." She pulled you back by your hair as you reached for her lips again.

"Fuck p-please I need you so bad...You don't understand I don't like you but..." You didn't even know what you were saying but she crashed her lips onto yours into a heated kiss once again.

"If you didn't like me already(you did), you sure will like me after tonight. Go on do what you want." You tugged at her pants, but you felt a bulge. Did she fucking had a strap on? Did she return the cookies just to put it on? She was such a fucking freak, still you wanted her so bad. You took her sweatpants off same as she slowly did for you.

"Damn Y/N, was I that good in the dream?" She whispered against your chest as you sat in her lap. How did she even know about that? Is she a stalker or something? Who knows how long she had been staying there listening.

"I hate you so much..." You said as you lowered yourself onto her strap. You slowly began to ride her as she just stared at your face. She was so fucking weird, but it kept turning you on. You kept going until you wanted more.

"I-I can't like this..." Right after you said it she picked you up, carrying you to your bed and gently placing you on it before climbing on top.

—

You didn't even know what time you were coming already, you just know she didn't stop slamming into you at an insane pace making your head spin. There were tears at the corners of your eyes as you felt yourself getting close for the who knows what time.

"I can't...I'm close again..." You mumbled, but its like you couldn't get enough of her. She wiped your tears away giving you a kiss on the cheek.

"Do you want me to stop? Is it too much?" She stopped her movement instantly even tho she was slamming into you for the past 2 hours.

"D-Don't you fucking stop p-please Minjeong..." You put your arms around her neck pulling her closer as she continued.

"I'm coming M-Minjeo—" She kissed you, caressing your face as you came all over.

You both panted before she stood up from the bed, going to drink a glass of water and returning with another glass for you. She went to shower, carrying you with her. You didn't have a bathtub, so she had to hold you around your waist so you don't fall, since your legs were shaky.

"There, all done now baby!" She smiled, kissing your head. How did she still have so much energy?

She helped you dress up before tucking you into your bed, giving you a glass of water to freshen up. She slipped in there too, wrapping her arms around you.

"Do you think you're my girlfriend so you can hold me like this huh?" You mumbled, shifting closer to her.

"Stop being grumpy already. Can I be your girlfriend then Y/N?" Her words were soft and sweet. You turned around, facing her and looking into her big brown eyes. She looked at you like she wanted you to say yes more than anything.

"Only if you stop posting guitar videos so much. You are too good at it...Girls will obsess..." You mumbled as she pulled you closer by your waist.

"Promise on my comic books!" She held her pinky out, waiting for yours. She was so childish and you didn't know how you used to hate that. It just made her so adorable.

"Keep it down..." You teased her and she snuggled even closer like she wasn't already close enough.

"Couldn't say the same to you an hour ago..." You hit her playfully and she just laughed. After some time, you both fell asleep in each others arms.

A/N: Okay yall I wanted to write for Minjeong for so long so I hope yall will like this one too!

[milkoomi]

overcoming the spring semester slump. ᥫ᭡

i’m sure a lot of us students are at that point in the spring semester where the level of our motivation is going down, our minds are quick to think “if i skip this assignment, i’ll still have a passing grade”, and our anxiety over final assessments/exams/projects/grades is increasing as each day passes. so let’s take a moment to pause, take a breather, and remind & reassure ourselves that everything is going to be okay. the spring semester slump is very real, but it’s something that you can overcome! so grab my hand because i’m going to guide you through this!

let’s begin …

୨ৎ — loss of motivation

losing that spark you had at the start of the semester/school year can feel so devastating. it’s frustrating to see the changes in your level of energy and it creates this sense of disappointment. but you have to remember: this is completely normal.

there’s so many other students out there who are experiencing the same drop in motivation and energy, so step one is reminding yourself that you aren’t alone in this feeling! yes, it’s extremely disheartening to see yourself slip away from that academic weapon status, but you aren’t the only one going through something like this!

“how do i get my motivation back?”

ask yourself this: if you’ve already gotten this far into the school year, why would you want yourself to let go of all your hard work?

you’ve come so far! and, up until this point, you have been exceeding your own expectations! up until this point, you’ve put in so many hours into your school work and studies! why let all that time and effort go to waste?

here are some things that keep me motivated:

proving to everyone who doubted me that they were all wrong

making my loved ones and myself proud

knowing that i’m another step closer to working in my dream career field

maintaining my 4.0 gpa

make a list of your goals! this will help you visualize and give you a reminder of what all your work is going towards. i know you want to achieve your goals, i know you want to be a better version of yourself, i know you want to climb up to the top when it comes to your academics— let your goals be your fuel.

sometimes, all we need is a reminder of why were doing all this. we need to see or hear what the ultimate end goal is, so be that person to do that for yourself! tell yourself that all this hard work is going towards your bigger picture!

୨ৎ — negative mindset changes

you and i both know you’ve stared at an assignment and spent a good chunk of time debating on actually doing it because “you’ll still have a passing grade if you don’t”. trust me, i’ve done it. again, you aren’t alone in having those kinds of thoughts! i get it, we all have calculated the lowest score we could possibly get to still have a passing grade in a class. i actually did that on a recent exam i took that i also procrastinated til the day of to study for.

it’s okay to have these thoughts pass through in your mind, but what isn’t okay is actually putting those thoughts into action. don’t let that unmotivated voice in your head take control of your academics!

“but how do i stop myself from thinking this way?”

i want you to take a look at all the past assignments you’ve completed and all the quiz/exam grades you’ve received throughout the school year and/or semester. notice how you submitted every single assignment? notice how all your studying got you the grades you wanted? you managed to do all of that, so why let those passing thoughts take over? you have shown yourself, and even your teachers/professors/instructors, that you are more than capable of getting things done. why let yourself slip?

if you’ve spent the entire semester turning in assignments on time and getting above average grades on all the exams, are you really going to show your professors— the people who have been watching you excel all semester— that you’re letting your academics go?

and you’ll never know, but skipping that one assignment could potentially break your grade. complete it. do it. turn it in. it could help cushion your grade or even bring it back up!

୨ৎ — finals anxiety

finals week is slowly, but surely, making it’s way back into our lives once again. that week and the weeks following up to it are the perfect breeding grounds for anxiety to fully settle in. and i get it! it’s not a fun feeling. you’re overwhelmed, you’re feeling overworked, you’re feeling burnt out, and your anxiety is just seeming to take over the more and more you think about it.

gonna say it one more time: it’s 100% okay to feel this way! finals week anxiety and stress is normal. it’s an important week to focus on seeing as final exams make up such a big portion of your grade. your anxiety and stress about it is completely valid!

“how can i overcome this anxiety?”

i created this post on preparing for finals week, so i highly recommend taking a look at that since i go into greater detail on how to prepare as well as offer some helpful tips!

ways i manage my academic anxiety & stress:

creating to-do lists & planning out my week

pomodoro & eat-the-frog method for time management

journaling — emotion/thought dumping

setting aside time to do something that makes me happy and/or is relaxing

reaching out to my support system

getting 8 hours of sleep every night

forming study groups with my classmates

it’s important that you’re giving yourself breaks. i always say this, but i really am a huge advocate for making sure you still have time to do something for yourself that isn’t related to school.

allow yourself to breathe; give yourself time to relax your mind. if there’s anything to take away from this section, it’s always making sure you set aside personal time for yourself. whether it’s going for a walk, playing with your pets, chatting with a friend, playing a video game, doing your makeup just for fun, or even taking a nap, just make sure you always make time to do something for yourself!

a lot of the academic anxiety and stress can stem from not making enough time for yourself to relax. i’m sure you were locked in all semester and i’m sure you put in hours upon hours into your studies, but give yourself a break! go do something fun! don’t let your entire life be consumed by your academics!

i know i said in the previous section to get your shit done, and while i still stand by that, i will always climb to the mountain tops and scream that you need to make time for breaks, self care, and yourself. don’t overwork yourself! you might feel the need to just keep going and going, but you’re allowed to slow down; you need to slow down. putting majority, or even all of your time into your studies can only make your anxiety and stress worse.

final notes —

the biggest take away from this post should be this: you’re not alone in this feeling, and getting yourself back up now will have your future self thanking you forever! this slump is something so many students go through, but you have to remind yourself that all your hard work now will truly reward you later down the road.

you’ve gotten yourself this far! keep going! your future self is going to be so grateful that you kept moving forward!

with lots of love, faustina 🌷

[dirtyvulture]

Knight Falls - Part 3

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Wolverine!Reader

18+ only, read at your own risk (Blood, violence, torture)

Summary: Your perfect life with Natasha isn't meant to stay that way with the Red Room still looking for her.

Word count: 3030

AN: It’s been 84 years since the last update, but I truly thank everyone for their recent interest in this fic and for giving me the motivation to keep going!

Click here to refresh your memory with Part 2.

“Again? Are you sure?”

“Why not? It’s not like she has somewhere to be.”

Dr. Cornelius’s bald head leans into your peripherals. He’s wearing his signature mirrored glasses so you can see your reflection in them: the hair matted to your forehead, the sickly paleness of your skin, the dilation of fear in your pupils.

“You’re our most generous donor,” Dr. Cornelius says, patting your arm with a heavy hand. You try cringing away from his touch, but you’re bolted to the table at every joint. The things you would do to this man if you were free. “Besides, you have to pay for your upkeep somehow, right?”

You growl in response to his words. You don’t try speaking to them anymore. They’d never listen to you anyway. 

In the background, metal scrapes against metal and the clanging strikes a chord of fear in your chest. It’s not easy to move your head but you still try, until you see one of the surgeons back at your side with a scalpel shining in the bright overhead lights. 

“What haven’t we taken today?” Dr. Cornelius asks. 

The surgeon shrugs, his expression unreadable behind a mask. You wonder if he takes enjoyment in this, or he’s just following orders. There’s a lot of each around here. All spineless cowards to you.

“How about the liver?” Dr. Cornelius suggests, pushing down on your stomach. You squirm uncomfortably, but no matter what you do, you can’t escape him. Ever since these sick psychopaths got their hands on you, they weren’t going to let you go.

“Sure.” 

Before you even have a chance to register the surgeon’s response, his scalpel presses into your side until it breaks the skin. Blood rolls down to the metal slab you’re lying on. You can’t block out the pain as he saws through you, but you’ve learned to disassociate from it. If they were going to treat you like an object, you needed to pretend to be one to survive.

***********************************************************************

You come to slowly, your head pounding like someone took a sledgehammer repeatedly to your skull. Light worsens your headache so you squint while you get your bearings. You find yourself strapped tightly to a table, heavy blocks of metal encasing both of your hands. There’s even some kind of solid muzzle over your mouth, restricting your breathing. 

Your first thought doesn’t go to the countless times you’ve been in this position before, it goes to the one that landed you here: Taskmaster standing over you with a gun pointed between your eyes. Your forehead throbs at the memory, but since you actually remember what happened, your healing must be functioning as normal, despite the extreme sluggishness that weighs you down. You pull aggressively at your binds, but you’re cinched tight to the table.

Panic builds inside of you.

Screaming doesn’t do anything. Neither does begging them to stop. Which is why you don’t do it anymore. You lie there like a fish, your eyes glazed over and unseeing, even though you are completely aware of everything happening to you.

Your skin tearing open. The blood pouring out of you that they don’t even try to staunch. Being ripped apart and put together more times than you can count.

The muzzle makes it impossible for you to take a full breath and the anxiety overrides your control. You hyperventilate frantically, but it’s still not enough air and the ache in your lungs starts to build. It feels like you’re drowning in fear and panic and you completely forgot how to stay calm. 

You never thought you’d find yourself in this position again. You promised yourself you wouldn’t let it happen. 

You squeeze your eyes shut and try moving your whole body, but your legs down to your ankle are held in place by metal restraints. A band over your chest presses down like someone’s knee in your sternum. The fear of not being in control is crushing like a weight of its own and you fight harder, until the metal starts cutting into your wrists. But you won’t stop, afraid that you might never make it out if you do. 

“Y/N. Y/N!”

Your head whips around painfully against the restraint locked around your neck. Natasha is crouched a few feet away from you, blocked behind a wall of jail bars. You try to speak but your words are muffled by the muzzle. 

She squeezes her arm through the bar, straining to reach you. Her fingertips barely brush your forearm, but her touch is instantly calming. 

“It’s okay. I’m here,” she says, trying to be brave for the both of you, but you can smell her fear mingling with yours. There’s a cut with dried blood on her forehead, but she seems okay otherwise. At least the two of you were together. You focus on your breaths again, forcing yourself to take them slowly and as deeply as you can. Your heart rate falls and the panic begins to melt away.

Natasha has never seen you like this before. The crazed look in your eyes when you woke up, the desperation in which you tried to unsuccessfully free yourself. She knows it must be traumatizing and embarrassing for you to be in a position of helplessness. She wishes she could be closer to you, to hold you, to tell you that everything will be okay, but she’s stuck behind the bars in a cage and can barely reach you. 

“I love you,” she blurts out, in case she doesn’t get a chance to say the words again. “I love you so much and I’m going to get us out of here, I promise.” You cannot speak, but you look at her with pure adoration and trust. 

“I’m not sure where we are,” she says, filling the silence. “I woke up a few times before they brought us in here. But I think we’re on some kind of aircraft–”

At that moment, your surroundings jolt and Natasha falls back in her cell. You know you aren’t going anywhere with the table bolted to the floor, but the motion is jarring and worrying. Escape would be a lot more difficult if there was nowhere for you two to go.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” Natasha whimpers, curling into a ball. You can’t stand to see her like this, even more frustrated because you can’t do anything to assure her. A growl rumbles in your throat as you tug pointlessly at your arms yet again. “It should be me on that table. You warned me going after the Red Room would be dangerous, but I didn’t think it’d end like this.”

You grunt in disagreement. You had no regrets going to that Russian home with her and you wanted her to know that.  

“If we get out of here,” she continues in a lower voice, “Maybe I should leave y–”

Before she can finish her sentence, the door swings open and three men walk in, Taskmaster among them. Instantly, the hairs on the back of your neck rise in warning. The shortest man struts over to Natasha’s cell, and the scent of fear that rolls off her is so strong it nearly chokes you.

“Natalia,” Dreykov greets as Natasha shrinks back to the corner of the cell. “Glad to see you back in the Red Room.” You growl to get his attention away from her. “Oh.” He slowly turns as if he completely missed you lying there. “Forgive me for not introducing myself.” 

He comes to your side. He smells like cologne, sweat, and a trace of fear. It makes you feel minutely better that even though you’re strapped to a slab of metal and rendered nearly immovable, he’s still scared of you. “You may address me as General Dreykov, and I think you’re already well-acquainted with Taskmaster.”

An insult is muffled by your muzzle. 

Dreykov chuckles. “We’ve been waiting a long time to get our hands on the both of you. You certainly didn’t make it easy.” He steps back as Taskmaster opens Natasha’s cell door and goes inside to grab her.

“Don’t touch me!” she screams. You yank at your restraints again; you’re not above skinning yourself if you have to. If the two of you are separated, there’s no telling what this man could do to her.

“You stay right here,” Dreykov says, as Taskmaster drags Natasha by. She tries reaching out for you again but Taskmaster pins her arms to her sides. “Dr. Morozov is happy to keep you company.” 

“Natasha!” you try to scream, but it’s unintelligible. 

“Y/N, I’ll come back for you, I’ll–” Taskmaster carries her out of the room, Dreykov following behind. The third man, thin and tall, dressed in surgeon’s attire, is left alone with you. While his physical presence isn’t very intimidating to you, the fact that he’s in a total position of power over you scares you the most.

“I heard you’re in possession of a substance we are very, very interested in,” Dr. Morozov says, his voice high and squeaky compared to Dreykov’s. “I told General Dreykov I had to come see you for myself.” He disappears from your vision but returns, pushing a rattling metal tray of instruments. Panic surges through you again, but you swallow the fear and try to stay calm.

“General Dreykov tasked me with removing this adamantium from your bones,” Dr. Morozov says, sounding giddy with excitement as he picks up a scalpel. “He isn’t sure if it’s even possible, and will most likely kill you in the process, but that’s a small sacrifice in the grand scheme of things.” He brings the blade into your left forearm, cutting your skin from your wrist to your elbow. You snarl and struggle, but he presses the blade deeper and deeper until it clangs against metal. “Aha!”

You need an escape route now. You refuse to lay here and be picked to pieces by yet another crazed surgeon. Your breathing quickens again, but this time you’re totally in control. 

“General Dreykov said you had…hmm, what was the word he used?” Dr. Morozov goes on. But your arm is already healing, so he cuts it open again and uses a clamp to hold it open. Adrenaline rushes through your veins so strongly you don’t even feel the pain for a moment, and that’s exactly what you need. Dr. Morozov is so busy studying your left arm, he doesn’t notice you tugging on your right arm. 

You tense your bicep so hard it feels like it’s going to tear out of your skin. The restraints are too tight so they pinch into your skin as it bunches up at your wrist, but you keep pulling until it starts to cut through. With one last breath to ready yourself for the pain, you yank with all your strength and your skin peels off your hand.The loss of the top layer creates enough room to slip your hand through the restraint, the blood acting like a lubricant. 

“Claws!” Dr. Morozov says suddenly.

If you didn’t feel so sick you would’ve laughed at the irony as you swing your right arm up and release your claws into the center of his chest. Dr. Morozov is dead before he collapses onto the floor. You tear the muzzle off your face first, then use your claws to cut through the remaining restraints. By the time you’re free, the skin on your arm and hand has healed back. You stand up, overwhelmed with nausea and pain, but it passes after you steady yourself on the table.

You check if Dr. Morozov has a security badge of some kind and find one in his pocket, stealing it for your own use and leaving the room. You’ve been dressed in a white shirt and sweatpants, now stained with your blood. You’re not sure why you feel so sick, maybe you had been drugged or were still recovering from being shot point-blank in the head. Either way, you don’t have time to sit and recover. You need to find Natasha. 

Following Dreykov’s scent down the hall, you dodge around corners and climb a few flights of stairs. It’s a miracle you don’t run into anyone, but something tells you it had been specifically set up this way. You use Dr. Morozov’s badge to pass foot-thick security doors, cautious to stay on guard in case of an ambush. But you hardly have time to be concerned with your own well-being when Natasha is with Dreykov. 

The thought of that slimy, vile man putting his hands on your girlfriend makes your stomach knot into a pretzel. Natasha had told you stories of what he had done to her and made other Widows do. While you could no longer be surprised by the vileness of humanity, it broke your heart to hear about the horrible things Natasha had been subjected to. Finding the Red Room would be her way of getting closure from that, but it seemed like whatever plan she had had utterly fallen apart with the surprise of Taskmaster. You have to find her before anything worse can happen to her.

Dreykov’s cologne intensifies and you trace the scent to a large door cracked slightly ajar, where his and Natasha’s voices drift out of.

“Don’t tell me to stop!” Dreykov screams, and his genuine anger causes you to pause in alarm.

“If I don’t tell you when to stop, how will you know to shut up?” Natasha responds, then the unmistakable noise of flesh against bone. 

“Natasha!” you yell, going into motion once more. But before you can get through the door, a massive figure drops down from the ceiling and plants their feet against your chest, sending you flying back into a metal wall so hard it dents around your body. For a moment, you can’t even breathe and you’re certain your entire ribcage has collapsed. 

Each miniscule breath you manage is like swords shoved through your lungs and you truly feel the weight of the metal on your bones as you struggle to get up. You lose track of Taskmaster until he slams onto the back of your head. Your metal skull rebounds against the floor and despite its added protection, your brain was just as vulnerable as anyone’s. Professor Xavier had warned you numerous times how much more severe brain injuries could be for you because your brain was literally cocooned in a metal shell. 

You had never really believed him until now.

No thoughts pass through your mind as you teeth rattle like candy and your vision blurs like someone has taken an eraser to half of it. Taskmaster grabs you by the shoulders and hauls you back to your feet. You hate how he easily he throws you around. Very few people could make you feel like a ragdoll. The claws rip out from between your knuckles and you slash out wildly, but he drops you before you can land a fatal strike. You aren’t focused so much on actually hurting him as you are distracting him. You need to keep him at bay long enough for your brain to heal. 

But you have no awareness of your surroundings, out of your environment and in an already-weakened state. The floor trembles beneath Taskmaster’s weight as he closes in on you. You swing without being able to see and feel the pull of your claws as it strikes against something, but it isn’t enough. Taskmaster’s claws stab through your back and steal your breath. You fly through the air, this time colliding with the ceiling and punching right through, landing on the floor above. 

You’re so disoriented in the settling dust you don’t see Taskmaster emerge from the hole you came through, stabbing you in the leg to drag you back down. Rage overtakes the pain at the thought that this man has simply turned you into his plaything, so when you fall back through the hole, you give in to your animal instincts and attack him. 

You slash and punch and kick in an unpredictable pattern because you aren’t thinking anymore. Taskmaster falls into a defensive mode and you sense hesitation as he backs away from you. Gaining some ground back lulls you into a false sense of security, and you don’t realize until it’s too late that he wasn’t hesitating. He was studying you, picking up on your style and techniques instantly to use back against you. 

After a blow that scores three long gouges across his chest plate, he launches at you in a frenzy that rivals your own. You have no protection like he does, and his claws, although not made of adamantium, are still durable and sharp enough to take chunks out of you. Blood splatters the walls and you’re forced to play defensively again after he punctures your lung and cripples both your legs by slicing your hamstrings in half. You crawl away from him, refusing to beg for your life but too scared to fight him more. You’ve never fought anything like him. 

Taskmaster looms over you as you shrink down, wheezing, the last fire of a fight fading in your eyes. He grabs the scruff of your neck like he would to a dog, stabbing you in the chest until blood spurts out of your mouth.

Despite that you easily outweigh the average male, he easily drags you into Dreykov’s office and kicks the door open.

Natasha is standing over Dreykov at his desk, blood dripping from her crooked nose. You wish you had the energy to break free and punch Dreykov in the face, but you barely cling onto consciousness as Taskmaster drops you like a sack of bricks.

“Y/N!” Natasha shouts.

Taskmaster pulls out a gun and presses it into the back of your head as you struggle to get up. 

“Don’t,” Natasha begs. 

You grit your bloody teeth, wanting to tell her that a little lead wouldn’t kill you. 

“That is not for her,” Dreykov says, pointing at Taskmaster’s gun. “It’s for you.”

Before you can even blink, Taskmaster removes the gun from your head and aims it at Natasha.

BANG.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: Sorry to leave yall on ANOTHER cliffhanger. But one more part to go :)

Please leave likes, comments, and reblog! Follow for more content. 🥰

[salty-autistic-writer]

Tommy talks to Maddie. (Spoilers for episode 15, grief)

Evan is asleep. Finally, after hours of shaking and crying, his breaths turned even. He's curled up on his side, the pillow wet from his tears.

After a last checking glance at Evan, Tommy carefully leaves the room and gently closes the door behind him. He can’t sleep yet. His body still caught in a state between agitated disbelief and the urge to do what he can to take care of Evan in his heartbreaking grief.

When Tommy steps into the living room, he sees Maddie sitting on the couch. She nods at him, her face pale and eyes red rimmed from her own tears. While Tommy is here for Evan, she’s here for Chimney.

“How’s Buck?” Maddie asks quietly.

Tommy leans against the table. “He’s sleeping now.”

Maddie nods, sighing softly. “Chimney too. Finally. How are you doing?”

Tommy shrugs. “Right now, I’m feeling pretty numb. I haven’t been able to cry so far, even though my head feels like it might burst any moment. Maybe I won’t be able to stop crying later. I don’t know. I have no idea what will happen. Until now, I only had experience with the death of people I stopped caring about.” He falters, blinking, realising he talked an awful lot instead of answering the question with a short okay or something. “Oh. I’m sorry. I think I just overshared.”

“It’s okay. Everybody grieves differently,” Maddie states quietly, reaching for a pillow and pressing it to her chest. “Thank you,” she adds, looking up at him. “For being here for Buck. And … For helping to save Chimney. I was so scared when … when I saw him. He looked so sick. So pale. So … Close to death. If he hadn’t gotten the antiviral in time …”

She stops, twisting her fingers into the pillow, her eyes staring into the void and filling with new tears.

Tommy knows what she wanted to say. 

If it wasn’t for the antiviral, Howie would have died too.

Tommy swallows. “Howie saved my life,” he says, remembering waking up in a hospital bed, surprised by Howie’s face hovering above him, smiling and holding a sandwich. “He’s my friend. I will always be there if he needs help.”

Or anyone from the 118 really.

“I wish I could have done something to save Bobby,” Tommy admits, his chest clenching. He felt so lost when he was watching it all happen on the monitors. So helpless.

Maddie nods. “I think we all wish that,” she says, wiping at her eyes. “But no one could have helped him. He knew that. It was his choice to die like this. It was his choice to make sure his team, his family, got out of that lab alive. We have to honour it.”

“Yeah. It’s just so hard to imagine a world without Bobby Nash,” Tommy says, remembering the moment when Bobby encouraged him to transfer. I’m sad to see you go, but happy you get to chase your dream , he had said with that honest smile. And then he welcomed Evan to the 118 table. The father I never had , Evan told Tommy once. And now … that piece was torn from the world, yet it’s still turning. It’s surreal.

Maddie gives him a sad smile. “Well, we all somehow have to live in that world now,” she says, getting up and hugging him, which surprises Tommy, but also fills him with a warm glow.

“We should try to get some sleep too,” Maddie tells him. “Tomorrow is going to be tough for everyone."

She slowly leaves the room, running a hand through her hair. Tommy watches after her, his head aching. He can feel pressure behind his eyes. Maybe tomorrow he will be able to finally cry.

(AO3 Link)

[pankowcrumbs]

Try again X Harry Styles

MasterList

Harry Styles Masterlist

I don’t even remember what we were doing before it happened. That’s how those things go, isn’t it? Something mundane, something completely ordinary, like folding laundry or talking about what to have for dinner until suddenly it wasn’t.

I’d seen the messages earlier that day. Not because I was snooping I wasn’t. Harry had asked me to text his manager from his phone while he was in the shower. I didn’t even mean to look, but the name caught my eye. Clara. A woman I didn’t know.

The preview of the message read: Clara: "Last night was perfect. I can’t stop thinking about it."

I didn’t open it. I didn’t have to.

That single sentence had lived in my head all day like a splinter under the skin. Burning. Festering. I wanted to believe it was innocent. God, I needed to. But it didn’t feel innocent. It felt like betrayal. And Harry… he’d been distant for weeks. Months, maybe. Constantly away, always exhausted, barely touching me even when we shared the same bed.

So that night, I waited until we were alone, until Zadie, our dog, had curled up in the corner and the house had fallen into that soft hush. And I asked him.

“You been sleeping with someone else?”

Harry froze. His hand stopped halfway through unbuttoning his shirt. “What?”

“I saw the message,” I said flatly. “Clara. ‘Last night was perfect.’ What was perfect, exactly?”

He blinked. His jaw tensed. “Are you serious right now?”

“Deadly.”

He ran a hand through his hair, frustration already bleeding into his voice. “She’s a songwriter. We were working on lyrics. In the studio. That’s what last night was.”

“Oh, so you work with her, and she messages you like that? That’s normal to you?”

“It’s not what you think, Y/N,” he said, already walking away like the conversation wasn’t worth finishing. Like I was being ridiculous. “Jesus, you always do this.”

“Do what, Harry?” I snapped, following him. “Ask questions when something feels off? Wonder why the man I’m married to doesn’t look me in the eyes anymore? Doesn’t touch me? Doesn’t try?”

He turned. His face, normally so composed, cracked. “I’m working my arse off, travelling, singing, writing everything I do is for us. And the second something looks off to you, you jump to this? You think I’m cheating on you?”

“What am I supposed to think?” My voice cracked, but I didn’t care. “You’re never here. And when you are, it’s like you’re not. You’re somewhere else with someone else.”

“You think I’ve got the energy to cheat?” he barked. “I don’t even have the energy to sleep, let alone sneak around shagging someone on the side.”

I blinked, caught off guard. For a moment, I thought maybe he’d calm. That we’d talk like we used to. But then he said it words I can never un-hear.

“You’re exhausting.”

Silence. Not even the fridge dared hum.

“What?”

“You. This. All of it.” He gestured between us. “It’s always drama with you. Always something wrong. I can’t come home without getting accused, interrogated, made to feel like shit. I’m tired, Y/N. I don’t need this kind of bloody noise in my life.”

I stood there, frozen. Because he didn’t just say I was dramatic. He didn’t just say he was tired. He said he didn’t need me.

“I see,” I whispered. My whole chest ached, the kind of pain that doesn't come from being punched but from the slow, deliberate slicing of trust.

He rubbed his temples, looking down. “I didn’t mean it like...”

“No. You did.”

“Y/N”

“I want a divorce.”

He looked up then, eyes wide. “Don’t be like that.”

“Like what?” I asked, suddenly calm. “Exhausting?”

I didn’t yell. I didn’t cry. I just walked out of the room, picked up my overnight bag one I hadn’t packed, but somehow was ready in my mind and left. I went to my sister’s place. I didn’t even take Zadie.

The first time I saw him after that night, I honestly thought part of me would crumble. Some tiny, stubborn thread inside me still hoped he would apologise, run to me, say he didn’t mean it.

He didn’t.

Instead, Harry was already angry when he walked into the solicitor’s office. Hands shoved deep in his pockets, jaw tight, not even looking at me.

"Alright," he muttered, sliding into the chair across from me, refusing to meet my eyes.

"Alright," I echoed stiffly.

For a moment, it was civil cold but civil until we started talking about the house. About money. About what would happen to Zadie.

And that’s when the bitterness he wore like armour finally snapped through.

"You were always good at taking," he said, voice low but lethal. "Taking and making me feel like it was never enough."

I sucked in a sharp breath. "Excuse me?"

"You heard," he said, tipping back in his chair, arms folded like he was utterly unbothered. Like he hadn't broken me.

The solicitor poor woman, bless her tried to steer us back, tried to talk terms, but it was like neither of us could hear her.

"You’re unbelievable," I hissed. "You pushed me away for months. You practically left this marriage yourself before I ever said the word ‘divorce.’"

He laughed an ugly, hollow sound I didn’t recognise. "Maybe because being married to you started feeling like a fucking job."

I flinched. Properly flinched. Like he’d hit me.

The room spun for a second. I stood abruptly, pushing my chair back so hard it scraped against the floor.

"I’m done talking to you," I said, voice shaking with anger and humiliation. "From now on, everything goes through the lawyers."

"Fine by me," he spat, not even moving.

I didn’t look at him when I left. Couldn’t. If I had, I think I might have stayed to fight, to scream, to ask why he was trying so hard to hurt me when I had already walked away.

But there was nothing left to say. Nothing he could say that would undo what he’d already done.

It didn’t get better after that. Every time we crossed paths when we had to sign something, or drop off something that belonged to the other it was like pouring salt straight onto an open wound.

He’d mutter something under his breath, something cruel, something he didn’t mean but said anyway because it was easier than admitting he was hurting.

"Nice of you to turn up sober for once," he sneered once outside the flat, when I was collecting the last of my clothes.

I blinked at him confused "I don’t even drink, Harry."

"Could’ve fooled me," he said, before slamming the door.

I started dreading the moments we had to see each other. Started losing sleep, bracing myself for whatever new hurtful thing he’d throw at me just because he could.

That’s when I made it official. No direct contact. Lawyers only. It was the only way to survive him.

Because the truth was he wasn’t the only one hurting. He wasn’t the only one burnt out. I loved him. God, I still loved him.

But sometimes love isn’t enough. Not when the person you love keeps setting fire to you every time you get too close.

6 months later

The rain hit the pavement in dull thuds, matching the rhythm of my heart as I stood outside the chapel.

I almost didn’t come.

It wasn’t the whispers I was afraid of, nor the photographs that would inevitably surface. It was Harry. Seeing him again after months of silence. After screaming matches that broke the very foundation of what we once were. After we’d reduced our love to cold, passive-aggressive emails and lawyers.

He hated me. I hated him.

Or maybe we just convinced ourselves we did.

Anne’s voice had been soft over the phone. "He doesn’t know I called you, darling. But she loved you. You were family, and still are, if you want to be."

So, I came. Dressed in black, hair pinned up, nerves eating me from the inside. I stepped through the chapel doors, and immediately the scent of white lilies and old wood swallowed me whole. Familiar faces turned to stare. Some with warmth, some with confusion, a few with open disdain.

But none of it mattered when I saw him.

Harry Styles, my husband - Soon to be ex-husband stood at the front pew, hunched over, hands gripping the back of the bench so tightly his knuckles were white. His curls were messier than usual, suit slightly wrinkled. His shoulders looked heavier. He didn’t look like a global icon. He looked like a boy who had just lost someone he loved.

I didn’t think. I moved.

One step, then another. I crossed the chapel aisle slowly but without hesitation. Eyes followed me, but I kept my gaze fixed on him.

He turned when I was only a few feet away. I expected his jaw to harden, expected him to look through me the way he had for the past six months.

But when his eyes met mine, something inside them cracked. No anger. No bitterness. Just pain. Grief. Maybe something else.

"Hi," I whispered, voice barely audible.

His breath hitched.

I stepped closer and opened my arms.

He hesitated for only a second before collapsing into me. His arms wrapped around my waist, his head tucked into my neck. I held him, feeling his silent sobs shake his frame. My hands slid into his curls instinctively.

"I’m so sorry," I whispered.

He didn’t respond, not with words. But his grip on me tightened, grounding himself. His fingers curled around the fabric of my coat as if afraid I’d vanish.

Minutes passed like that. Maybe more. I didn’t care. We were a picture of intimacy in a room of ghosts and expectations. And for once, no one interrupted.

When he finally pulled back, his eyes were red-rimmed, lashes damp.

"You came," he said hoarsely.

I nodded. "Anne asked. But even if she hadn’t, I would have."

He looked down at our hands, joined. His thumb brushed my knuckles. Habitual. Familiar.

"I didn’t think you would."

"I know."

We sat beside each other during the service. Silent. Still. But his hand remained hooked with mine. And when the priest spoke her name, I felt his breath falter, and I gave his hand the gentlest squeeze.

Afterwards, the family gathered at Anne’s house. The home that had once felt like a second home to me.

I walked through the front door and was hit with nostalgia. The faint scent of vanilla candles, the creaky stair on the third step, the family photos lining the wall.

Anne met me in the hallway, eyes glassy but warm.

"Thank you for coming," she murmured, pulling me into a hug.

"Of course. She was… she meant so much to me."

Anne nodded, holding me tighter. "And you mean a lot to us. Divorce or not."

I found Harry in the kitchen, standing by the sink with a cup of tea he wasn’t drinking. He glanced up as I entered.

"Bit mad, innit? All these people. But I feel alone."

I stepped beside him, leaning against the counter. "You’re not."

He looked at me, studying my face like it was the first time in years. "I never cheated on you."

I closed my eyes, pain flooding me. "I know. Now. I just didn’t then."

"And I said awful things. Things I didn’t mean. I was just… hurt. And scared. And tired."

"We both were."

Silence stretched between us. Not awkward. Just full of things we hadn’t said. Couldn’t say.

"Did you stop loving me?" he asked finally.

I looked up at him. "No. Did you?"

He shook his head, a sad smile ghosting his lips. "Not even close."

The cup in his hand trembled. I reached out, gently taking it from him and setting it on the counter. Then I wrapped my hands around his.

"This doesn’t fix everything, Harry."

"I know."

"But I’m here. And I care. And I always will."

He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against mine. It wasn’t romantic. It wasn’t about lust. It was grief and history and fragile understanding. It was a bandage.

That night, when I finally left, he walked me to my car.

"Thank you," he said, voice low.

I touched his cheek. "Get some rest. And if you ever need to talk…"

He nodded. "I know where to find you."

Our eyes met again. And maybe it was foolish, maybe it meant nothing. But as I drove away, I felt the faintest flicker of something that hadn’t been there in a long time.

Hope.

The house was far too quiet when I got home.

The silence buzzed against my skin, loud in a way it hadn’t been before, and I hated it hated how empty everything felt after the weight of the funeral, the sadness pressing down on everyone all day.

I didn’t bother turning on all the lights. Just the small lamp in the corner, throwing a soft amber glow across the living room. I changed into my pyjamas and curled up on the couch under a heavy blanket, a movie playing in the background I wasn’t even watching.

I was just... numb. Tired. Sad. For him. For the family I used to call my own. For what we had lost more than just the person we buried today.

I tucked my knees to my chest, sinking deeper into the couch, my hand absently toying with the hem of the blanket. It was the first time all day I wasn’t pretending to be strong.

The movie flickered on. Some old rom-com, the kind I'd usually have laughed along with, but now it just blurred into the background.

I didn’t even hear the knock at first. It was loud, urgent. I startled, blinking, head snapping towards the front door.

I frowned. Who the hell would be knocking at nearly eleven at night?

Dragging the blanket around my shoulders like a cape, I padded over to the door, peeking through the window beside it and my heart stopped.

Harry.

His tall frame stood on the doorstep, shoulders hunched against the cold night air. His hands were shoved deep in his pockets, and even from the dim outside light, I could see the redness in his eyes, the tear tracks drying on his cheeks.

I sighed heavily, forehead resting briefly against the door before I twisted the lock and pulled it open.

"Harry..." I whispered.

He didn’t even let me finish whatever thought I was reaching for.

"I didn’t know where else to go," he said hoarsely, voice breaking apart like a brittle twig. His eyes shone wet, and his bottom lip trembled in a way that nearly undid me completely. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just... I didn't know what to do."

He stood there, so broken, so unlike the man who had slung cruel words at me for months. He wasn’t angry now. He wasn’t proud or defensive. He was just lost.

I stepped back without thinking, opening the door wider. "Come in."

Harry moved immediately, brushing past me into the warm living room. He smelled like the cold night air, like aftershave, and faintly of salt from the tears he'd shed.

I shut the door quietly behind him. For a moment, we just stood there me clutching the blanket around my shoulders, him standing awkwardly, hands still buried in his pockets, looking everywhere but at me.

"Sit down," I said gently, nodding towards the couch.

He sank onto it like a puppet with its strings cut. I followed, dropping down beside him without any real thought, pulling the blanket off my shoulders and draping it over us both.

As soon as the blanket settled, Harry cracked. His shoulders shook violently as he leaned into me, pressing his face into the crook of my neck and chest like he was trying to crawl inside me, hide from the world.

I wrapped my arms around him immediately, holding him tight, letting him break apart in my arms. His fingers fisted the fabric of my top, clutching me like I was the only thing keeping him grounded.

"I’m sorry," he choked out again, voice muffled against my skin. "I'm so sorry for everything, Y/N. I don’t know how it got so bad... I didn’t mean to I never wanted this..."

"Shh," I whispered, threading my fingers through his curls, soothing him, rocking us slightly. "It’s alright. Just breathe, Harry. You’re alright."

We sat there for what felt like hours, tangled up together under the blanket while he cried. Big, heaving sobs that shook his whole body all the grief and guilt and exhaustion pouring out of him at once.

And I didn’t say much. Didn’t lecture. Didn’t demand apologies or explanations. I just held him. Like I had so many times before when the world felt too heavy.

Because no matter what had happened between us, no matter how much had broken. Part of me would always want to be the place he could fall apart safely.

When he finally started to quiet, his breath hitching less, he pulled back slightly, eyes bloodshot but clearer now. His face was so close to mine, I could see the tiny freckle just under his left eye, the one I used to kiss without even thinking.

His voice was barely a whisper when he spoke.

"I miss you."

Tears pricked my eyes before I could stop them.

"I miss you too," I admitted, voice thick with emotion.

Harry’s hand came up, trembling, and he cupped the side of my face so gently it almost broke me all over again.

"I don’t want to fight anymore," he whispered. "I’m so tired, love. So fucking tired of pretending I don’t still love you."

I let out a shaky breath, forehead tipping forward until it touched his.

"I’m tired too," I said quietly.

We sat like that, breathing each other in, wrapped up in our own fragile, broken little world. The movie kept playing, forgotten in the background. The rest of the world didn’t exist.

After a while, when his breathing evened out and the worst of his tears had passed, I shifted slightly under the blanket.

"Come on," I said softly, brushing a hand through his messy curls. "Let's get some proper sleep, yeah?"

Harry blinked up at me, eyes glassy and exhausted, like he didn’t quite believe I was still there.

I stood, holding out my hand to him.

Without hesitation, he reached for me, his fingers curling tightly around mine. Like if he let go, I might vanish.

I led him down the hallway to my bedroom, the creak of the floorboards under our feet feeling almost nostalgic. We didn’t speak. Didn’t need to.

Slipping under the covers together was the most natural thing in the world. I settled down, and Harry immediately wrapped himself around me, head resting on my chest, arms locking around my waist as if trying to memorise the feel of me. His legs tangled with mine under the duvet.

I stroked his hair gently, fingers weaving through his curls, feeling his breathing slow against me.

For the first time in months, I didn’t feel like I had to guard my heart. For the first time in months, I felt safe.

Harry burrowed closer, letting out a soft, broken sigh that made my chest ache. Within minutes, he was asleep, the exhaustion of grief and guilt pulling him under.

And soon after, I followed cradled by the rhythm of his breathing and the solid, familiar weight of him against me.

The morning light filtered in through the curtains, painting the room in a soft golden glow.

I woke up slowly, my body warm and heavy under the weight of Harry curled into me. His head rested on my chest, his curls a wild mess against my skin. One of his arms was slung lazily across my waist, keeping me anchored to him.

I smiled softly, my heart clenching painfully at the sight.

Without thinking, I started running my fingers through his hair again, smoothing out the knots from sleep. His curls were so soft, slipping through my fingers like silk.

Harry stirred slightly, a small groan escaping him before his eyes fluttered open, bleary and confused for a second until he focused on me.

He blinked up at me, and for a moment, we just looked at each other. No anger. No bitterness. Just two people who had hurt each other... but still somehow found their way back.

He shifted, pressing his face into my chest for a second like he was trying to steady himself, and then he spoke voice rough and low from sleep and emotion.

"I can never take back the things I said," he rasped out, voice breaking on the words. "And I don't expect you to forget them. But... after yesterday, after losing Jenn... it made me realise how bloody short life is, Y/N."

He pulled back just enough to see my face properly, his hand finding mine under the covers, linking our fingers together tightly.

"I was so stupid," he continued, voice shaking. "So fucking stupid for letting you walk out that night. For being too proud and too angry to fix it before it got this bad."

Tears pricked my eyes again, but I blinked them back, focusing on him the raw honesty on his face, the regret pouring out of him.

He squeezed my hand tighter, like he was terrified I'd pull away.

"Those last few months before you said you wanted a divorce... I wasn’t myself," he admitted, voice dropping even lower. "I was burnt out. Tired. Snapping at everyone. I wasn’t a good husband to you not even close. I made you feel like you weren’t enough, like you weren’t my priority when you are everything."

I opened my mouth to say something, but he shook his head, rushing to finish.

"Being away from you, losing you... it made me realise I wasn’t living the life I wanted. I was chasing something, always working, always touring, never stopping to think if I was actually happy." He swallowed hard, his thumb rubbing circles into the back of my hand. "I’m not happy, love. Not without you."

My chest ached so fiercely I thought I might shatter.

"I’m pulling back," Harry said firmly. "From everything. I’ve already cancelled things. I’ve spoken to Jeff. I’m taking a proper break. No more running myself into the ground and forgetting what actually matters."

He took a deep breath, his eyes searching mine desperately.

"I want to work on us, Y/N. I know it won’t be easy. I know I fucked up badly. But if you’ll have me, if there’s even a chance... I want to be better. I want to be the husband you deserve. I want to come home to you. I want to choose you every single day."

By the time he finished, tears were streaming down both our faces. Silent, heavy drops that soaked into the pillowcase and the sheets.

I let out a shaky breath, squeezing his hand back.

"You really mean it?" I whispered, voice thick.

Harry nodded fiercely. "More than I’ve ever meant anything."

I stared at him this man who had broken my heart, and somehow was also the only person who could ever heal it.

And I knew... I still loved him. I always had. Even when it hurt.

Slowly, I leaned forward, pressing my forehead against his.

"I want to try too," I whispered.

Harry let out a choked sound half sob, half laugh and pulled me into him so tightly it almost knocked the air from my lungs.

We stayed like that for a long time, wrapped around each other in the morning light, two broken people piecing themselves back together.

No promises we couldn’t keep. No pretending it would be easy.

Just us choosing each other again.

And maybe... Maybe that was enough.

[whatsaninterestingplacethisis]

Cravings

Imagine

Will Smith x Latina!Reader

Synop: Will is going crazy thinking about you leading to his feelings finally bubbling over.

It was a quiet afternoon. You spent the whole day thinking about your home baked cookies. When you got home, you started to prep your special recipe.

You had Pride and Prejudice playing in the background as you mixed the ingredients and let the dough chill.

You recited the movies lines from memory as you washed the dishes. As you shut the water off, your phone pinged.

Will

Since when did you watch The Pitt without me?

Y/N

Since the episodes come out every Thursdays.

Will

I can’t believe you.

That’s our show.

Y/N

It was my show before I put you on

Will

Well it was supposed to be our show after we watched the first episode together.

Y/N

I told you, I wouldn’t wait for you to catch up

It’s a good show tho huh?

Will didn’t respond after your last message which made you laugh. Will had been your good friend for a while now. You loved having friends who could text you out of nowhere and talk about whatever is on their mind. Even silly things like this.

Will always had something silly thing to say or complain about. It gained him the nickname he despises, Silly Willy. You would always say, “you’re so silly Willy” in a mocking tone. It made you laugh always. Will would should grimace.

As you scrolled on Instagram to kill time, you heard loud knocks at your door. Engrossed in the video you were watching, you got spooked.

Cautiously you approached the door and opened it ajar. You saw Silly Willy’s blonde curls and his bland facial expression.

“What are you doing?” You asked in surprise.

He had his hands inside the pockets of his puffer jacket and shrugged.

“Can I come in?” He asked.

“I guess so.” You opened the door for him and closed it behind him. Your brows furrowed as you saw him take off his shoes and his jacket.

“Is everything okay?” You asked following him towards the living room.

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?” His face concentrated on TV.

“This is the first you come over unannounced.”

“Is that rude?” He genuinely asked.

“Maybe to some people. But you’ve never done that, so I’m a bit confused. Should I be concerned?” you laughed at your half serious joke, but Will just stood still.

“Don’t think so. I’m doing fine.” He had a flat smile as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“How many times have you watched this movie?” He remembered Mr. Darcy from the previous times he had seen the movie with you.

“I’ve lost count. Probably over 10 times. Wait were you already in my building when you were texting me?”

He cleared his throat as he looked over at the kitchen, “Yeah I was. Are you baking something? It’s warm in here.”

Your brain was still puzzled as to Will’s actions but he reminded you about the cookies. “Yeah I’m about too. Chocolate chip cookies.” You walked over the fridge to put them in the oven.

“Now I know why your place was calling me over. I subconsciously knew you were baking goodness.” He leaned over the counter with a dumbfounded smile.

“So you’re here because ‘my place was subconsciously calling you over’?” Your eyes squinted at his never seen behavior. You placed the tray into the oven.

“I guess so. Weird feeling right?” He shrugged again with a smile.

“What’s weird is how you’re acting.” You scoffed a laugh turning your attention to him.

“What’s so weird about wanting to see my friend?” His tone of voice got more serious.

“That you came over without notice.” You kept your lightened mood.

“If you don’t want me here then I can leave.” He stood up straight and shrugged again.

You were taken back from his response, “That’s not what I said. I’m just- You always ask to come over-“

“And you alway say yes! So what’s the big deal?” He raised his voice ever so slightly making you widen your eyes.

You look at him with wild eyes and take a breather, “What is happening!? Is this a fight? I didn’t mean to start something. I’m just confused-“

He cuts you off before you could apologize for something that wasn’t your fault, “I’m sorry. No this isn’t a fight. At least I don’t want it to be.”

“Me neither.” You said.

“Sorry” he said.

“Me too.”

Silence took over the space, both of your eyes wandering everywhere else but each other.

“I just miss you.” He whispered.

The more he talked, the more confused you got.

“We saw each other last night.”

“I know. I just miss you more these days.”

Will was never been known as a softie. He wasn’t necessarily a jerk in public but seeing this side of him was rare.

“Will, are you sure everything’s okay? You can tell me anything.” You moved closer to him across the counter.

His head hanged low as he leaned over the counter. He laughed and shook his head slowly. He murmured something to himself that you could barely intercept.

You whispered, “Hm? I didn’t hear you.”

When his head rose, his eyes were glossy and his face blushed. He locked eyes with you, “You couldn’t have a picked any other nickname?”

“I know you don’t like Silly Willy but it’s kind of funny.” You brushed down his curls with your hand, “I mean look at you. You’re being a little bit silly.” You snickered as you kept adjusting his hair.

“What about baby?” He asked in all seriousness.

You laughed, focusing hardly at a certain difficult curl, “As what? Your nickname?” When your eyes landed back on his and he kept silent, your hand stopped.

“That’s a bit intimate, no?” You started to retreat your hand but he grabbed a hold of it. He held both of your hands on the cool counter.

“Yeah it is.” He whispered, reading your face. “Would it be so bad?”

“It’s usually used between people who are in a relationship.” You whispered back, your eyes wandering back and forth at his.

“I know that.” His breathing filled the close space between you both. “Again, would it be so bad?”

Your breathing filled the space and before you could answer, the oven beeped. Instinctively you took your hands from Will and turned to find the oven mitts.

As your mind blanked as to what drawer the mitts were in, Will stood up straight watching your back and how your shoulders rose from your deep breathing.

When you turned to the oven, Will walked around the counter, breaking the barrier between you both. You took out the cookie sheets and placed them on the stove. You admired them, truly spacing out, and slowly took off your mitts.

When you turned around, Will was right there. He hovered until you saw him. You locked eyes for a quick second before he took your face with both hands and kissed you feverishly. Your hands reached for his in shock but your hands melted and ran down his arms.

He had you against the counter deepening the kiss, wishing to feel you closer. You hummed into the kiss and pulled back for air.

It takes a second for you either of you to break the silence, “How long have you’ve been waiting for that?” You whispered.

“A very long time. I just started to go crazy up until now. I didn’t know how long I could have lasted.” He whispered back as he tucked your hair behind your ear.

“I hope I didn’t ruin things between us.” His eyes filled with worried as his thumb caressed your cheek.

“You didn’t ruin anything, baby.” You smile as you cocked your head to the side. His cheeks become pink to hear the new name.

He pulls you in for another kiss, slower this time and more intimate than the first.

“Thank you for kissing me after I took the cookies out. Because they would most definitely burnt through all this kissing.” You pecked his lips with soft kisses.

“Now that they’re out, we can kiss for however long we want.” He kissed you again, his hands exploring your waist and hips.

“Not too long. I’ve been craving them all day.” You said in between his touch.

“Not longer than I’ve been craving you.” He said close against your lips. With his eyes closed, he could feel your lips turn up into a smile.

His cheeks were flushed, his body warm, and the fresh smell of cookies filled the room. He swore he could die of happiness right there and then.

an: if anyone has any requests send them over plsss

[slut4hee]

Love Trial

{Paring: Summer Fling Sunghoon x Blk Fem! Reader

{Genre: smut, strangers to lovers?? summer fling, ambw themes, 18+ so (mdni).

{Summary: In which, the summer vacation trip, to Seoul, South Korea finally makes it out of the group chat. What was supposed to be just a girls trip, a getaway from your stressful work lives, you find yourself in a summer fling with a local you met in Hongdae. Would this be a start of a new love story? Or would you leave half of your heart, in Seoul, South Korea?

{Warnings: explicit scenes, protected sex (gasp), fingering, oral (m&f receiving), missionary (hoon’s an eye contact type of guy), squirting for the first time, accent kink, dirty talk in broken English and Korean, language barrier (Jake has to translate for hoon), bold letters is when they’re speaking in Korean, I don’t speak Korean so translations may not be accurate, just a lot of filth and some fluff okay ?

—————————————————————————

You and your friends squealed in excitement, as you all stared at your booking confirmation. The trip, had finally made it out of the group chat, you guys were so thrilled. You all had corporate jobs, and very exhausted from piles of paperwork, and constant meetings.

“Holy fuck! Guys we finally did it.” Jada shouted, jumping up and down. You and Naomi joined her, both group hugging, all so giddy. You could already feel the stress leaving your body, just knowing vacation was around the corner.

“So fucking glad, i won’t have to hear my bosses bullshit, for a whole three months. Naomi said, falling back onto Jada’s queen size bed, you giggled before joining her, grabbing your phone and scrolling through your socials.

“Maybe, I’ll meet me a fine Korean daddy, and get wifed up and move to South Korea”Jada chuckled, following back onto the bed as well, and joining you both.

“Guys remember, this trip is all about having fun, nothing too serious” You said, you were always the mother of the group, even though, Naomi was older you always played the responsible role.

“Oh come on Y/n, you gotta learn how to live a little” Naomi said, nudging you in your side playfully. You rolled your eyes at her, of course you wanted to have fun, just safely. You were always pretty anxious, and an overthinker. But Jada and Naomi, were total opposites, more free spirited.

“Don’t tell me, Brent has anything to do with what you were saying” Jada said, raising her eyebrow at you suspiciously. You got quiet, avoiding making eye contact with her. Jada sat up real quickly, as well as Naomi.

“Y/n.. we’ve been through this already, that trash cheated on you with Jennifer, it’s about time you get off him. Naomi said, her tone holding a sense of encouragement. Perhaps your friends were right, it has been almost 4 months, since you and your cheater of an ex boyfriend broke up.

“Nobody’s saying it had to be serious, but possibly let a handsome guy buy you a drink, and maybe get railed.” Jada giggled mischievously, wiggling her eyebrows. You put your hand over your mouth laughing, you loved your crazy friends.

//

When you stepped off the plane, you immediately breathed in the Seoul air, it was beautiful day, the sun was beaming down on your face, and the wind blowing a nice breeze. It felt so good, knowing you didn’t have to worry about, getting calls all afternoon, and going back and forth to the copy machine. No, it was strictly about having fun, and letting loose.

“Eeee! I can’t believe we’re finally here ladies” Jada said, bringing you all in for a group hug. You all cheered and expressed your excitement, before getting your luggage. You all were able to haul a taxi, and speak to the driver in the very poor broken Korean, the best you all could.

When you guys arrive at the Airbnb, the view was breathtaking, it overlooked the streets of downtown Seoul, restaurants, and shopping centers near by the area.

“Wow! It looks exactly how I viewed it online, I thought we were going to get scammed.” Naomi said, chuckling in disbelief, before dropping her luggage, and running around exploring the unit. You giggled, before pulling her luggage with yours, placing it into one of the rooms.

“Girls, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m starved.” Jada said, holding onto her stomach, and pouting like a baby. You didn’t realize how hungry you were as well, before your stomach growled on cue, you all burst into laughter.

“How about, we try that one bbq spot, we found on TikTok?” You suggested, Naomi, and Jada quickly agreed, as you all ran to take showers and get dressed to go out.

When you guys arrived at the restaurant, the vibes were great, and the people were friendly. Luckily most of the staff spoke English, so you guys were able to dine with ease. You guys ate until you guys were full, and then went to the convenience store for dessert afterwards.

Finally the nighttime came, and it was time to go clubbing. You couldn’t believe, you were about to experience the infamous Hongdae, a place you’ve only seen on TikTok and YouTube videos. You decided to go with something simple yet still attractive, a lace red corset top, with a black mini skirt, that if you bent over you would definitely flash someone.

“Wow we look hot as fuck!” Jada yelled, doing her little dancey dance in the mirror. You, and Naomi giggled at her, before joining in. It was time to, fucking party like wild animals!

//

Music from the clubs fills the lively atmosphere, and lots of people laugh and mingle with one another. Guys hitting on girls left to right, and many locals standing off to corner smoking a cigarette. You felt nervous, being that you haven’t enjoyed the nightlife in a while, and on top of that, you were in a totally different country.

As a black woman, you didn’t know what to expect, you did get a lot of stares, some of admiration, and some of curiosity and confusion. But you were here to have a good time, not get in your head, and let your insecurities show. Finally you guys made in to the club you were partying at, and immediately ordered drinks.

“Wow our bartender is fucking hot!” Jada said, eying the tatted gentleman, and biting her lip, as she fluttered her eyelids flirtatiously. You giggled before taking another sip from drink. After many shots, you finally start to feel the buzz, the adrenaline pumping through your body.

“Come on girls, let’s go dance!” Naomi said, dragging you and Jada to the dance floor. the Dj was playing WAP, by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion. You slowly started to sway your hips to the music, your body moving like liquid to beat of the vulgar song. You dropped it low, made it bounce, all of the above.

Sunghoon’s Pov:

You caught Sunghoon’s eye immediately, when he spotted you by the bar. He did a double take, when he took in your appearance, he has never met a woman, as gorgeous as you are.

His eyes trailed down your frame slowly, your waist slim, your thighs thick enough to take a bite out of, and your aura was all but too addicting. He swallowed hard, watching you throw back your drink like nobody else’s business, he always had a thing for girls like you, beautiful brown skin, and bodies of a goddess.

When he saw you and your friends hit the dance floor, he immediately held his breath. The way you moved your body with all confidence, and seductively, he felt like he couldn’t breathe. You were making him sweat, making his pants feel like he got a size way too small.

“Holy shit, look at those chicks over there” Heeseung said, nudging Jake in his side. Jake turned around, scanning the room before finally his eyes landed on you and your friends.

“Fuck they’re hot, now those girls really know how to have some fun” Jake said, smirking as he took another sip from his drink, hissing at the sting of the liquor. Sunghoon stayed quiet, just observing and watching you dance.

And then that’s when it happened, your eyes met his, and he felt his heart skip a beat, his breath hitching. You smirked at him, biting down on your bottom lip, as continued to dance sexually.

“Holy shit Hoon, the one in the red corset, is totally checking you out right now” Jay said, smirking, as he winked, at a pretty girl passing by them. Sunghoon could feel his face heating up from Jay’s words, were you really noticing him? Were you really interested in him?

“I’m pretty sure she’s looking at all of us” Sunghoon said, awkwardly, taking another sip of his drink. Jake chuckled, he could tell Sunghoon wasn’t used to bold girls like you, plus Sunghoon wasn’t really a club person.

“We should invite them to our section” Heeseung said, turning to look at his friends for approval. Sunghoon almost spit out his drink, Invite you over?! Sunghoon was a nervous wreck already, and you weren’t even near him. Plus, his English speaking skills, were not the greatest.

“L-Like right now? What if they think we’re creeps” Sunghoon stuttered, he never felt this nervous, and intimidated in his twenty-two years of existence. His friends just laughed, nudging him in the side, and telling him to lighten up. But he could he keep calm, when the most beautiful woman, he’s ever seen was three feet away from him.

Back to Y/n’s Pov;

When you locked eyes with him, you immediately knew you had to have him, he was handsome, tall, and a mysterious aura to him. It was the way he watched you, studied you, as if you were the only girl in the room. You wanted him,and you wanted him to want you too, you prayed he would come and approach you.

You saw one of the guys he was with, walking in you and your Friends direction. He was also very handsome, his eyes resembling a golden retriever, and his hair was silky and fluffy. But your eyes were on the prize, who that in the back?!

“How you doing tonight pretty ladies, hope I’m not intruding too much, but me and my friends were wondering if you wanna come chill in our section? The gentleman said, a confident smirk on his face. His cologne was strong, but not to the point where it was unbearable. Jada had agreed, before you and Naomi could even give your opinion.

You and your girls followed the handsome guy, whose name you now know as Jake, to him and his Friends private section. Your eyes were on Mr tall, and mysterious the whole time. You took a seat right next to him, you could see him tense up, and you giggled at his reaction. He was such a cutie.

“Welcome beautiful ladies, I’m Jongseong, but I go by Jay” Jay introduced him, offering to shake hands. You all shook his hand back, but he gave Naomi a special kiss on her knuckles, clearly showing off his interest in her. Heeseung did the same, his eyes on Jada the whole time, eye fucking her, like no tomorrow.

“Not too much of a talker are you? You said, looking at over Sunghoon. He looked at you, his eyes wide, as he swallowed his spit nervously. He looked over at Jake for help, he didn’t understand what you meant at all.

“Am I not interesting enough for you huh?” You fake pouted, holding your chest, as if you were injured. Sunghoon frowned at you, looking at you with an intense gaze, he was trying so hard to understand you, but he was failing badly. Finally Jake noticed the tension, and cut the rope with a knife.

“Oh, this is my friend Sunghoon, he’s not very good at speaking English.” Jake said, Sunghoon understood that sentence, nodding his head at you awkwardly. You nodded your head, awkwardly biting down on your lip.

“You like drink?” Sunghoon suddenly said, staring at you nervously, his palms sweaty.

“Huh?” You replied, frowning in confusion. Sunghoon bit his lip, mentally cursing himself out in his head, now he wished, he paid attention in English classes as a teenager.

“Jake!, tell her I would like to buy her a drink” Sunghoon said to Jake, Jake quickly translated what Sunghoon had said, with his very attractive Aussie accent. You smiled at Sunghoon, telling him yes of course you can buy me a drink.

You watched, as he headed to the bar, he looked so sexy with his leather jacket on, a white tank top under it. He looked back to see you already staring at him, and he shyly looked away, smirking to himself. He came back a drink in his hand, a fruity looking drink.

You took the drink from him, and thanked him, as you took a small sip from it. The drink was sweet with a sour aftertaste, honestly pretty good.

“You like it?” He said, his accent thick, as he smiled softly at you, waiting for your answer. You smiled back at him, nodding your head and taking another sip from the drink. Suddenly the song by streets by Doja Cat came on, you immediately wanted to get up and dance to it.

“Would you like to dance with me Sunghoon” You asked him, gesturing towards the dance floor. He frowned at first, and then went “Ahh” when he understood what you said and replied with a nervous “Yes”. You giggled at his cuteness, before reaching your hand out, for him to take. He took your hand, and let you lead him to the dance floor.

“Just follow my lead baby” You said, looking into his eyes, before turning around, placing your backside on his front. Sunghoon damn near, had a heart attack, when you started rolling and grinding your body on his crotch. He was too stunned to speak, his hands laying awkwardly by his sides.

“Don’t be shy baby, put your hands on my hips” You giggled, grabbing his hands, and placing it on your hips. Finally he started to loosen up a bit, his body moving with yours. You both were basically dry humping in front of everyone, you bit down hard on your bottom lip, to conceal the moans that threatened to come out, every time his bulge made contact with your ass.

“Oh god, jeongmal michyeoss-eo.” He mumbled breathlessly, his grip on your hips tightening. You looked back at him, moving your hair to the side, as you now moved your ass in circles, shamelessly teasing his now hard on.

“M-Maybe we home tonight?” He said breathless, his breathing ragged, and sweat drips down his forehead and nape.

“What’s that baby?” You didn’t quite understand him, turning around to face him, as you looked into his dark eyes, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Me and you, my home” He said in broken English, his hands now resting on your ass. You felt yourself soaking your panties, his accent was so cute and sexy, you wanted to swallow him whole. You weren’t going to miss out on the opportunity to spend the night with Sunghoon, honestly this was not something you would usually do, but your friends did tell you to live a little right?

“Ohh baby, you wanna take me home to your bed” You said seductively, running your long acrylics, down his toned chest. Sunghoon didn’t quite understand, but he heard the words baby, bed and reading your body language so he assumed you were agreeing.

“Yes baby, jebal.” He said, with urgency in his voice, he’s never wanted someone as bad as he wants you. You made him feel hot, you made him feel risky, he wanted to explore every single part of you. And that’s how you found yourself, stumbling out the club with Sunghoon. His arm gripping your waist tightly as if you would escape, and you kissed on his neck and face, giggling giddy in the process.

Of course people were giving you looks, some girls looked at you with jealousy and envy, and some guys looked at you, as if they were wishing they were the ones taking you home. Sunghoon quickly hauled a taxi over, you couldn’t keep your hands off him, caressing his chest, kissing on his neck, tracing the moles on his pale skin.

Sunghoon basically had to drag you to the cab, he almost thought you were going to, jump his bones in the public eye. You were acting like a complete slut, and you had no shame, you hadn’t been with someone, since you and Brent broke up plus Sunghoon made your body feel things.

You both were now in the cab, your lips attacking his, as you moaned and he groaned into the kiss. You couldn’t wait to get these clothes off him, you knew he was fit just by looking at his physique, snd feeling his defined muscles through his tank.

“Neoga neomu pil-yohae!”

//

You both had barely made into his apartment, before his lips, were back to attacking yours. He managed to shut the door, with the back of his foot, his lips never leaving yours as he gripped your waist tighter. Your body slammed against the wall, the makeout session very heated, as you both moaned desperately into each other’s mouths.

“Sunghoon, fuck baby I need you” You said with a whine, the ache between your legs was starting to become overwhelming, you needed to feel him, you needed him to feel you. He nodded his head frantically, you guessed he understood you, as he suddenly picked you up off your feet, and bring you to his bedroom. His bedroom was spacious, and very clean, and had a minimalist aesthetic to it.

He threw you on the bed, your body hitting the soft mattress and pillows, he stood there a moment, just admiring you, and mumbling the words “Maeu yeppeuda.” Before climbing on top, and starting to leave wet kisses on your neck, and collarbone. You whimpered, at the feeling of his tongue caressing your brown skin, and the feeling of his weight on top of you.

“Is this okay?” He asked, tugging at your corset top, you assumed, he wanted you to take it off. You quickly nodded, turning over, so he could untie the strings. He wasted no time, yanking the strings apart roughly, as tearing the fabric. He flipped you back around like you weighed nothing, groaning at the sight of your bare tits.

“Ah, ssibal yeppeune Janiya!” He grunted, now groping your tits, and pinching your sensitive nipples. You moaned loudly, at feeling of his big hands on your chest, and the thrill of not being able to understand what he was saying to you. It was just something, about the way the foreign words rolled off of his tongue, his accent being the most sexiest thing you’ve ever heard.

“Fuck Sunghoon! Please baby, I need you so bad, i need more” You screamed out, hoping he understands your words and urgency. He studied your body language once again, and the words baby, and more.

“More?, is what you want Jagiya?” He said, hoping he understood you correctly.

“Yes, yess! Please give me more” You begged shamelessly, tugging at his shirt. Sunghoon got the message, throwing off his jacket, and freeing himself of his tank top. You damn near melted, at the sight of Sunghoon’s toned, yet slender body on full display for your eyes only.

“Taking off” He said, tugging your skirt down with urgency, leaving you with only your thong on. You waited, anticipating his next move. He looked you deep in your eyes, with his dark lust filled ones, as he came in contact with your clothed pussy. A very noticeable wet spot, was stained on the middle of your cotton gusset, and he groaned at the sight before rubbing little circles on your pussy through your underwear.

“F-Fuck Hoon, oh god, please give me more, I need it so bad. You cried out, looking at him with pleading eyes, your hand finding his, as you squeezed it hoping he understood. He smirked at you, before coming face level with your pussy, and licking a stripe of it through your panties. Your body jolted forward, your hands going to grab at his hair as he starts to lick at the fabric more aggressively.

“Shit! O-Oh my god, that feels so good, Nghh you’re so nasty” You moaned, your legs already pathetically shaking, and he didn’t even come in contact with your bare cunt yet. Finally, he decided it was time to stop teasing, he pulled your thong to the side, exposing your bare pussy to the cool air and his hungry eyes.

“Wow! Neomu jeoj-eoiss-eo.” He said, swiping through your wet folds with his long slender fingers, before spitting directly on your pussy, and licking another stripe of your pussy this time actually tasting it. Your body jerked forward again, your back arching, off the bed, as he starts to suck and lick on your pussy like he’s starving.

“FUCK! Damn baby, you’re so good at this, how does my pussy taste Hoonie?” You whimpered, your legs threatened to close around his head, but Sunghoon kept forcing them open.

“So sweet jagi, maeu dalkomhada!” He groaned, now sucking on your puffy clit, you could feel yourself already getting closer to the end, your stomach tightening and your legs starting to shake violently.

“Oh Sunghoon, oh god you gonna make me fucking cum” You screamed out loud, your hands gripping onto his hair tightly, causing him to wince at the slight pain. Like clockwork, you shot off like a rocket, creaming hard all over his face. he kept sucking on your pussy, helping you ride out your high until you pushed his head away due to overstimulation.

“Wow! I think that’s the hardest, I ever came from head baby, you’re a sex beast. Sunghoon groaned, now unbuckling his belt, and getting himself out of his jeans. He was now only in his white Calvin Klein boxers, a very noticeable wet patch visible by his crotch area.

“My turn baby” He said, tugging down his boxers, his hard cock sprang free, hitting his abdomen, precum already spilling from the slit. Your mouth was watering at the sight, you grabbed his length in your hands, before pumping his cock up and down slowly. His body jolted, grunted deeply under his breath, your hands felt so good around him.

“Such a, big pretty cock darling” You said, looking up at him, as you continued to jerk his cock off. Sunghoon felt himself about to burst too fast, so quickly stopped your hand. His breathing ragged and ruined. He reached over to his nightstand, pulling out the foil packet, tearing it open with his tooth. He slid the condom over his dick, letting out a shaky hiss from the feeling of the condom.

“Naneun deul-eogaya hae, I need to in baby” He said, voice rushed, husky and rough. You moaned at that, grabbing ahold of your legs, and spreading them wide for him. He cursed under his breath, before lining himself up with your entrance, and slowly starting to breach your tight insides.

“Oh shit! F-fuck, you’re so fucking big!” You screamed, your hands gripping onto the sheets tightly, the stretch was like no other, it felt you were being split right open. Sunghoon was holding his breath, until finally he pulled halfway back out, to slam himself right back in to the hilt.

“Ah ssibal!” He yelled, his movements halted, as he let you and himself adjust to the new feeling, of his nested deep inside you. Your mouth was left agape, a silent scream as you should say, you never felt so full in your life. No other man, has never made you feel this stuffed before, you could feel Sunghoon’s cock touching your cervix.

“Sunghoon please! Please fucking move, oh you feel so good” You cried, desperately pulling at his waist for him to start moving. Sunghoon took a deep breath, before slowly starting to rock his hips back and forth. You immediately grabbed ahold of him, pulling his body down on yours, as you lose yourself in the feeling of him stirring inside you.

“Oh shit! Maeu kkwag, Ah ssibal.” Sunghoon moaned loudly, spurring out words in Korean, that you had no idea what it meant. But for some reason that made your more wetter, your wet pussy gripping his cock like a vice.

“Goddamn baby! I can feel you in my fucking stomach.” You whimpered, his pace now starting to pick up, the bed creaking loudly, the headboard banging against the wall.

“I’m here, my dick deep” He said breathless, pushing down on your stomach, where you could feel him deep inside your guts. You moaned loudly at that, feeling yourself teetering to the edge, for the 2nd time tonight.

“Sunghoon! You gonna make me cream your cock, fuck so damn good.” You cried out, your long nails clawing at his back, once he hits a particular spot, deep inside you.

“Cum for me, yeppeun galsaeg.” He groaned, his hand reaching between your legs, and rubbing fast circles on your puffy clit. You let out a broken sob, as you felt the band snap, your vision going white, as you came hard around Sunghoon’s dick. You didn’t realize you squirted, until you pushed Sunghoon’s dick out of you, your legs shaking like crazy.

“Wow! Very hot, jagi” Sunghoon moaned, mesmerized, by sight of your messy abused cunny. You pushed him off of you, and his body hit the mattress. You snatched off the condom, holding his still painful hard erection, starting to on the sensitive tip.

“Oh shit! o ye ppal-ajuseyo!” He whined, his hips bucking up, you held his legs down, as you started to bob your head up and down, taking him deeper into your mouth.

“Ah ssibal! gibun-i johda!” He yelled, his hands gripping the sheets aggressively, his stomach clenching, and cock twitching. You moaned around his dick, the the vibration, sending a shock of pleasure through his body.

“Naega ganda, naega sege ganda!” He let out a pathetic cry, his toes curling, as you brought him closer to his peak. All it took, was for you to stuff his dick down your throat, and he let out a guttural moan, shooting thick ropes of milky cum down your throat. You let go of his dick with a loud pop, opening your mouth, showing him his cum on your tongue before swallowing it and showing him it’s gone.

“Ssibal michinnom.” He chuckled breathlessly, his facial fucked out, and satisfied. You were the same, your pupils blown out, your hair was a mess from all the pulling, and tossing and turning. You were so satisfied and tired. He pulled you close to him, wrapping his arms around your waist, as he rest his head on yours.

“Salanghaeyo” He whispered.

//

You and Sunghoon, ended up spending the whole entire summer together, learning more and more about each other everyday, him taking you cute dates and showing you around the city, and lots and lots of sex. Unfortunately, you and Sunghoon never put a title, on whatever you guys have going on. He never asked you to be his girlfriend, and you never asked him to be your boyfriend.

Tomorrow was the last day of your trip, and you were already feeling depressed, you had feel in love with the city of Seoul, you had fell in love with Sunghoon. But you knew sooner or later reality would hit, you would have to go back to your boring, and stressful life as a corporate worker.

You hadn’t heard from Sunghoon all morning, and it was now evening time. Honestly your feelings were hurt, you knew sooner or later you both had to go your separate ways, but you didn’t think it would be that easy for him to ghost you after everything. You continued packing up your things, checking around the room and bathroom, to make sure you weren’t forgetting anything.

Suddenly your phone ringed, startling you, and you quickly dropped your hair brush in your bag, and grabbed your phone. You saw that it was Sunghoon calling you, and your heart dropped, and skipped a beat at the same time.

“Hello?” You answered, your voice was shaky, and nervous, you didn’t know what to expect.

“Annyeong jagiya, you doing packing” He inquired, you giggled at the broken English at the end, before replying to him.

“Yes Hoonie, I’m all done, why what’s up?” You said, he took a minute to respond, obviously trying to understand what you were saying, but he just went ahead, and said his next sentence.

“I’m outside, your hotel!” He said, you immediately felt butterflies in your stomach, and you quickly threw on your slippers and robe, and you ran to meet Sunghoon outside. When you made it outside, you saw Sunghoon standing there, with a banquet of roses in his hands, and something else behind his back.

“Hey darling.” He said, smiling, as he walked up to you, and handed you the banquet of roses. You smiled happily, as you brought him in for a tight hug, thanking him for the beautiful red roses.

“I have something else Jagiya.” He said, pulling something out of his pocket. Your breath hitched, when you saw it was a necklace box, looking up at him wide eyed.

“What’s this Hoonie?” You said, your voice shaky, as you feel yourself about to cry. He smiled, before kissing your forehead softly.

He opened the box, and presented the shiny sliver Tiffany necklace to you, as he said the words you never thought he would say.

“Y/n, would you be my girlfriend?” He asked, his eyes full of love.

”Yes! Of course I’ll be girlfriend Sunghoon!” You yelled, tears streaming down your face, as you both, pulled each other in for a hug and a kiss.

“I wanna spend that rest of my life with you”

“I will never, leave your side Park Sunghoon”

And a new love story begins…

𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖤𝗇𝖽．

𝖠/n: Omg Omg Omg?! 😵‍💫I enjoyed writing this so much eeeeee they’re so cute!🥹I hope you guys enjoy this fic, and reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated.

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Taglist: @i03jae @ataver @kolawnk @ancnymcnzjy @gildedsilk

[jimblejamblewritings]

Pet Soldier | 4

Summary: Bucky's past catches up to him, unlocking painful memories of his time as the winter soldier. The only thing that could make it worse was having to be on a team with a captured HYDRA soldier he wants to see dead. But her healing power is simply too invaluable to let go.

THIS IS A DARK FIC!

Warnings for the Series: 18+ only. Heavy Angst (eventual hurt comfort). Violence. Mentions and depictions of Non-Con and Dub-Con. Psychological Trauma. Not Canon Compliant. Manipulation. Hydra.

Important Warnings for this Part: Non-Con. Seriously. All the Italics are where it could be held.

Pairing: eventual Stucky x reader, Stucky x hydra!reader, Bucky x reader

Word Count: 8.9k (yeah, sorry, there was no good place to cut this part off so it'll be our oddly long chapter)

Previous Part | Series Masterlist

You didn’t want a UN meeting where you were paraded out to the public for corrections about you and your new place in SHIELD. The Accords Committee felt obligated to honor that. But they did need to make corrections about you and verify the truth. Which meant a small group of the Accords Committee and SHIELD’s board showed up early to Avengers Tower and would hopefully have a public statement by evening.

No one was surprised when you were the last one into the meeting flanked by one super soldier who hadn’t left your side since the terrace incident and a redheaded spy who watched your back even when you thought she wasn’t around. You were introduced to everyone, some familiar and some not.  

Everett Ross shook your hand. “I’m, uh, very sorry about how your past few months have been. Please, take a seat.” 

He wasn’t sure how to proceed, grateful for Nick going straight to the heart of the meeting. Natasha reassured you multiple times that you didn’t have to be in the room if you didn’t want to. For whatever reason, you couldn't bring yourself to leave even though you didn't exactly want to witness the harsh realities you had already experienced. Instead, you brought your chair closer to the super soldier at your side and held his wrist, squeezing it tightly.

Bucky swallowed thickly at the gesture. It wasn't for your own comfort but his. And the worst part was he couldn't even remember what he needed comforting about. He did the only thing that felt right, putting his hand over yours and echoing the team’s sentiment that they wouldn’t force you to stay in the room and that everyone aside Nick, Steve, and Ross could leave as well if you didn’t want them to see it. While they all preferred to be on reports, technically it was only necessary for Ross as the liaison of the SHIELD division and Accords Committee, Steve as team captain, and Nick as SHIELD’s director to be here. 

“I don’t mind,” you said. “HYDRA guards have already seen and shared everything whether I liked it or not. I’m more concerned that you all won’t be comfortable with what you see.” 

That was something they all discussed. But whether they were comfortable or not, they had to assess the evidence given to them. And unfortunately, all the evidence was video based. For once, Steve has wished he was given an abundance of paperwork.

He was sure he could stomach reading about what happened to you and Bucky. But he wasn’t sure he’d be able to witness it without breaking down. Everyone nodded, not wanting to delay the inevitable for any longer. Despite not being the leader, Tony naturally took over. 

“Alright, FRIDAY, what do you got for us?” he asked. 

“All videos sorted and accounted for. Repetition has been saved but cut from this viewing. Focus is solely on moments including Sergeant Barnes and Y/N L/N aside from moments deemed important enough to include even if they aren’t involved.” 

“Sounds great. What’s the earliest date we’ve got? Year is fine.” 

“1945.” 

Everyone but you paused. 

“FRIDAY, are you sure?” Tony asked. “Not Buckaroo’s time at HYDRA. When L/N arrives, we don’t really need to crack open Barnes’ old baggage.”  

“Yes, Mr. Stark. The dates have been checked and verified multiple times. This is the earliest date with both Ms. L/N and Sergeant Barnes. 1945.” 

Even Bucky had to blink back confusion, he could have sworn you weren’t around for more than two or three decades at the most. Nervousness began to build in his stomach and he felt a tightness in his chest. What if the soldier had been hurting you from the very beginning? If so, did that mean you two were never truly in love? 

The subject of you having been his wife hadn’t been brought up since the day it was revealed. Bucky wasn’t eager to unpack those memories or feelings, especially when he had a very loving boyfriend that he was head over heels for. But he knew it would have to be talked about eventually. He had been hoping for later rather than sooner.

Now, Bucky had to think about it whether he liked it or not. Because the only thing he was now focused on was if you had ever loved him or did you have the worst case of Stockholm Syndrome imaginable? He didn’t know which answer would have been preferable, less painful. 

Ross grabbed the remote and paused it before FRIDAY could even begin playing the first video. He tried to soften his voice as best as possible. 

“I have to ask, when were you born exactly?” 

“1920.” 

Most eyes in the room nearly bugged out of their skulls. At least they confirmed that FRIDAY was right in her information. Unsure of what else to say, Ross simply pressed play on the remote: 

Bucky moaned on the hospital bed he was strapped to. The bleeding had stopped but he was very aware that his arm was missing. You were thrown into the room, landing roughly on your hands and knees. Bucky didn’t know Russian but he could tell whatever was being shouted at you before the door slammed shut was Russian or, at least, definitely not German. 

You slowly got to your feet, attempting to speak broken Russian to the man on the bed. Bucky cut you off quickly. 

“I don’t understand that shit.” He tilted his head when you breathed out in relief. 

“You’re a prisoner too?” 

“Where the hell am I?” 

“A HYDRA base. Somewhere in the Soviet area. I haven’t been able to figure out if we’re in Russia yet.” 

Bucky threw his head back in frustration. Captured by HYDRA again. He wished he had just died from the fall instead. You picked up the crude and barely filled manila folder clipped to the end of his bed. All of Bucky’s information that HYDRA had gathered and the biggest reason you had been sent in to heal him despite the fact that he was missing one arm and therefore should have been expendable. He had a version of super soldier serum in him. The only other person you heard of having that was Captain America. You sighed as you set the folder back down and produced the key the soldiers had given you. 

“I’m sorry you’re stuck here with me.” 

“What do you mean?” Bucky was more than confused how you were a bad thing considering you were currently unlocking his handcuffs. 

“Because they only drag me out of my cell to heal someone worth saving.” 

Bucky swallowed thickly, not needing you to explain anymore. He wasn’t sure if you were a complete good guy yet but you were at least an ally for now. He waited patiently for you to lay out your equipment. You went through basic check-ups before assessing the real issue. Bucky’s eyes went wide when he saw the faint blue glow coming from your hands. His soreness started to slowly melt away as you pressed your hands to his wounds. 

“You’ll have to keep coming back before the next phase of your new training,” you told him. “I’m still learning my powers. My base camp was helping me learn how to get better to help soldiers for the war but I got taken before that. I’m working on it though.” 

“Were you given serum too?” 

You shook your head. “Born.” 

Bucky nodded, going silent for a while before noticing the silver dog tags hitting against your chest every time you moved. 

“Are those yours?” Bucky asked.

You nodded.

“From this war or the last?”

“Do I look old enough for them to be from the last war?” you asked with a snort. 

“I never like to assume a lady’s age.”

“You’re trouble, Sergeant Barnes.” 

Guards came to take him away before either one of you could have more conversation.

✭✭✭✭

Lock clockwork, you were taken to Bucky’s temporary chambers in the hospital after his breakfast. Both of you had concluded that the other was an ally, potentially even a friend in this grim place. 

Bucky turned away from looking at his shoulder that was no longer an open sore to staring at the ceiling. 

“Wish I would have met you back at camp. Did you ever hear about getting an assignment with the 107th?” 

“No, I don’t think so. Although, I hate to admit it but I never really paid attention to assignments. I just showed up where they directed me too.” 

“Shame. I’m sure you would have brightened up the days at camp.” 

He smirked when you rolled your eyes. It was so easy to pretend that you guys were back on one of the military bases. Without guards breathing down your back, you could almost imagine that you were in one of the medical tents and simply tending to a wounded soldier. 

“Sergeant, are you flirting with me?”

“Is there another pretty doctor fixing me up?”

“I’m just a nurse.”

Bucky pretended to ponder that thought for a few seconds. “Well, HYDRA’s training you up, aren’t they? And you have that weird magic that I’m really grateful for right now. I think that makes you qualified enough to be a doctor.”

“You’re too handsome for your own good. I hope you know that.”

He finally sat back with a smile. “So what I’m hearing, doc, is that my flirting does have an effect on you. I was worried that I was losing my touch.”   

✭✭✭✭

“Not to be offensive to the lady patching me up but where are you from? You sound kind of like a lady I know, Peggy Carter but you also sound like you belong from Brooklyn with Steve and I. And your tags don’t look like the British ones.”

Your nose scrunched up as you tried to stop from laughing too loud before it attracted the guards. “I don’t know anything about Brooklyn but my family are from the States. They moved here when I was little. Better life and all that. I guess I still sound like my parents somewhat.”

“Did you get that better life? Before HYDRA, I mean.”

You shrugged. “In some ways. In others, the racism is all the same. As for the tags, I lost my original. They gave me new ones while I was sent out to some American camp with a nurse shortage. Don’t tell anyone but I like this version more.”

“My lips are sealed.”  

It was quite obvious to everyone watching that you and Bucky had established quite a rapport. The super soldier felt a bit better at the fact that there was a time he knew you before the winter soldier. You weren’t just another one of his victims that happened to live to tell the tale. 

✭✭✭✭

Bucky already knew that he was in his final days before they did something else to him. Carefully, he took off his dog tags and slipped into the pocket of the lab coat that HYDRA let you wear. 

“Keep mine for me. I know they’re going to take them soon. And I know I’m not getting out of this shit, not this time.”

“But what about your friend you were talking about? Steve?”

“Trust me, darlin’. The way I was taken, no one’s coming. Just keep these safe for me, please.”

✭✭✭✭

Bucky wasn’t the same when he was brought to you. That was already the first change you noticed. You were upgraded from dingy barracks to a solitary cell. You worked next to the other scientists as the resident healer. And the Asset, as they were now calling Bucky, was brought to you rather than the other way around. 

He looked more feral than before. More like a machine every time you met him. And every time he left and you were allowed back into your cell, you cried for the man they destroyed. You cried, knowing that you two were stuck at HYDRA for the foreseeable future. 

✭✭✭✭

You looked up when the sirens started. Another winter soldier rampage. Part of you thought it was good. Bucky was still sticking it to them somehow. They couldn’t perfectly control him. On the other hand, you hated it because anyone that wasn’t flat out murdered was brought to you for healing. Aside from draining your powers, it gave you horrible nightmares. What you didn’t expect was for the guards to not subdue the rampage in a timely fashion. But it was too late to process that as the soldier busted down the door to the lab. 

Both Bucky and Steve noticed the hitch in your breath as you watched the scene unfold. Steve felt awful ever forcing you to leave the quinjet on missions because you jumped and flinched at each gunshot the winter soldier unloaded on the scientists in the video. 

The soldier turned his attention to you as the only other living being in the lab. You shook hard as you held your hands up in a surrender fashion. Pleas to spare your life seemed to fall on deaf ears as he stalked towards you. His arm shot out quickly, grabbing you before you even had a chance to run. The wind was knocked out of you as you were pulled back and flush against his chest. Metal fingers crept closer to your throat, wrapping around but not yet crushing. 

With an aggressive growl, the soldier ripped his hand away and shoved you against your workbench. You squirmed and panicked as you felt the fabric of your scrubs cleanly tear in two. Even your underwear seemed to offend the soldier as he ripped through them as well, the elastic snapping harshly against your skin. You clamped both hands over your mouth when you felt him prodding and poking at your entrance. You weren’t even sure when he had managed to get his pants down while you were still pinned with one hand. 

No one in the conference room was sure of what to say. It was almost like Bucky was trying to be gentle somehow. They expected the same brutal pace from his nightmare-induced rampages in the tower. But what they were watching while still rough was slow. Only the soldier’s flesh hand touched you while the metal one kept opening and closing in a fist. Almost like he was holding back. 

✭✭✭✭

The next scene was one FRIDAY deemed important even though you and Bucky weren’t in it. 

 HYDRA officials gathered in a nice room that didn’t seem to belong to the base. They stared at footage on the screen while some scientist at the front of the room pointed out things. The footage became clearer — the winter soldier’s latest rampage. 

“I believe the Asset recognized her ability to heal during his rampage. It is impossible to know what was going through his head but I truly believe he made a connection in his mind and remembered her healing ability, somewhat warping the nature of his rampage.”

“Saving her despite leaving everyone else for dead,” an official answered bluntly.

“Yes. His rampage wasn’t going to stop but the Asset did not want to kill her. We have witnessed the first instance of control during his instability. But that isn’t the only remarkable thing.”

“It isn’t?”

The scientist pulled up the cctv footage. “After his interaction with her. The rampage only continued for a mere two minutes before the soldier returned himself to his chamber without any guidance or threats.”

All of the officials in the meeting room paused. At this point, they had multiple times to learn the Asset’s rampage schedule. So hostile and lasting for long stretches of time that he would have been executed if he wasn’t the only experiment that took well to the serum.

He should have had another ten minutes before they could even start attempting to wrangle him back to his chamber after the first failed corralling. The scientist merely nodded as an answer to whatever question must have been racing through their minds.

“The instability in the Asset seems to stem from a remembrance of his previous life, a longing for that human side. Extensive wiping of his mind doesn’t seem to be a tool that works to eliminate that. We will have to come up with better technology. In the meantime, I would like to propose a temporary solution. Her.”

“The healer?”

“Watch the video again.” The scientist paused at the graphic scene. “Look at her hands.”

They could all see the small glow emitting from them.

“She either calmed his rampage through her abilities or the Asset’s human nature was seeking help and solace and recognized that she had provided a form of that for him in the past.”

Karpov set down his drink with a laugh. “So instead of killing her, he found his solace and took it.”

“Simple biology.”

“And you truly believe it will control his instability?”

“For now. The solution might not last forever but I do believe he can be subdued for now.”

“The problem is if he kills her. We have yet to find another mutant with her power. Her blood and dna give little in progress to create a serum from her. Without her, the Asset is down for weeks instead of days if he is severely injured,” an official said.

Karpov stood, garnering all their attention. “Then offer him other whores first. But if they cannot aid him then she goes in. The Asset is our most valuable weapon. The healer dies then she dies.”

✭✭✭✭

“I’m sorry.” The deep voice startled you.

You looked up to see yourself face to face with the winter soldier. Although, his eyes looked different today. More animated. A touch of clarity. The soldier flexed his metal arm before relaxing it again. He wasn’t with any guards but no sirens were blaring either. Did they let him walk on his own to the lab? 

“I hurt you, didn’t I?” he asked, breaking your thoughts. 

You wanted to ignore him but the look on his face made you nod. The soldier sucked in a harsh breath. It was silent for what felt like hours, both of you lost in your own thoughts until he came forward and sat down in the patient’s chair. He took a chance and held your knee with his metal hand. 

“I didn’t want to.” 

The honestly startled and confused you. The soldier turned to look at the door and then the cameras in the corner, wondering how long he’d have before the guards came in and wiped him for this sudden confession. He swallowed thickly. 

“I didn’t want to but I think I was going to kill everyone here. I couldn’t stop myself but it was the only thing I could do to not kill you. You’ve always been kind. I remember that now. I think that’s why I didn’t want you dead.” 

“Thank you for telling me. I think that makes me feel a bit better, Bucky.” 

The soldier sat back with something that almost looked like a smile on his face. “Who the hell is Bucky?” 

You gasped when you realized the mistake you made, constantly looking at the door and making the soldier feel on edge. After five minutes, no guards came. Even after you finished healing, no one showed up. The soldier bridged the gap once more, feeling confident. 

“Is that my name? I was named Bucky?” 

“A nickname.” You didn’t want to tell him more in case HYDRA thought you were pushing it.

“Hmmm. Will you call me that then? Instead of Soldat or Asset.” 

You nodded. “Of course, Bucky.” 

“I really am sorry for hurting you. I don’t really remember it but I feel that it happened.” 

“If you don’t remember it then let’s not worry about it, Buck—” You were interrupted by the crinkling of an intercom. 

“Nurse L/N, please escort the Asset back to cryo before the evening ends. You have until an hour after dinner.” 

✭✭✭✭

It became a routine for you and Bucky whenever he was let out of cryo. Both of you were suspicious about why HYDRA let you have this time but you didn’t want to question it too much before it was taken away. No guards came in even when you were trash talking their organization. Granted, they mind wiped him and punished you afterwards but even that was less harsh than their normal punishments of the past. You spent most of your time together. 

Bucky had a permanent seat next to your work bench. The other scientists learned to bow their heads because the winter soldier wasn’t afraid of growling at them or tensing his metal arm so the plates would crunch against each other with a menacing echo. But you had no reservations. Bucky was entirely soft with you.

He sorted your papers, recovered other people on the base to bring to you when you needed them, and he always brought your meals. And every evening, you were allowed to escort Bucky back to his cryo chamber with no guards around. 

In a sort of awe and confusion, the entire conference room watched FRIDAY fast forward at super speed through these clips. The date stamp in the corner of each cctv showed this strange allowance HYDRA gave you and Bucky lasted for a good six months. The footage went back to normal speed. 

Bucky looked down when you grabbed his metal hand, slipping your fingers through his, as you led him back to his cryo chamber. He still hated the thing but getting precious moments with you was better than kicking and screaming and being dragged back anyway. 

“Walk slower,” he softly commanded. “I just want to savor this, please. They send me out on a mission in four days and then back to cryo for who knows how long.” 

“Of course, Bucky.” 

You didn’t know if it would get you in trouble later but you didn’t care. You led him the long way through every floor of the facility that you were allowed on before finally returning to the cryo rooms. Bucky protectively wrapped an arm around your shoulder when you two noticed that all of the important officials, including Karpov, were in the rooms.

But none of them summoned any guards. Karpov merely smiled and asked you to continue your standard routine. True to his words, the officials focused solely on the scientists, asking them questions about cryo rooms and what improvements have been made and such. 

You were suddenly self-conscious but you tried to continue as usual. There were some things that you had never planned on doing for a man, ever. Bucky knew that. Yet, he was grateful that you bent some of those rules for him even if it was solely out of pity for his circumstances. He sat down while you removed his tactical boots and replaced them with slippers for cryo. 

“Thank you,” he said, reaching for your hand again. 

“Gear.” 

Bucky removed his tactical vest. You raised your eyebrows as he put it to the side instead of handing it to you like usual. He was thinking about something. You just weren’t sure about what. Instead of rushing him, you gave Bucky the time to figure it out. His blue eyes stared down your own. 

“I really want to kiss you,” he muttered. 

You two were more than aware when all the scientists and guards started leaving at his words. There was no pretense or excuses made. Their Asset made a request that they were willing to grant. This is what they had been waiting for. You and Bucky realized it at the same time. Bucky wrung out his hands. 

“I don’t care if they expect something. They kept bringing me women so they must expect something but I don’t want them. I won’t kiss you unless you want it… Please say something.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“It’s the only thing I’m sure about in this place.” 

You nodded. “I want it, Bucky.” 

He surged forward, taking your face in both hands, and kissing you like there was no tomorrow. Bucky tensed up when the guards returned. Karpov stepped forward. 

“Relax, Soldat. Miss L/N, please prepare yourself for cryo.” 

“Huh?” Your eyes widened and your breathing got faster. 

Bucky rubbed your arms up and down, applying a slight pressure. “It’s alright. Just like sleeping.” 

On instinct, he pressed kisses along your shoulder. You tentatively took the cup of pills one of the scientists handed you. It was like you had a choice. Another held up a large tub of what looked like a gel mixed with lotion. You were informed that because you weren’t serum-jacked like Bucky, they had to prep you differently until your body became used to the chamber. No one said anything when Bucky snatched the jar from the woman. He’d be damned if he let one of them touch you. 

It was almost sensual how he made sure the lotion covered every inch of your skin. He kissed you one more time before watching you get into the chamber first before he stepped into his own. 

✭✭✭✭

Karpov’s log was simple and to the point. 

“Sergeant Barnes wakes up from cryo a lot calmer now. We will be keeping Miss L/N in cryo alongside him.” 

✭✭✭✭

“They gave you guys a window?” Ross asked in complete shock at the scene of Bucky closing the curtains over what was clearly a real window. 

You two had been moved to a shared cell. There was a real bed in the corner, a small couch, and a small bathroom with just a toilet and a sink inside. It wasn’t much but you and Bucky made it look like a real home as far as everyone was concerned. But, like Ross, they looked on in disbelief. It was obvious that HYDRA was going to keep the two of you together once Bucky had made that first move but they were being oddly accommodating. 

“Their deadliest soldier they had to keep brainwashing was given a window? That shows the outside!”

Bucky squinted at the large screen, the faintest hint of a memory flashing before him. “I think I wanted it for Y/N?”

His question was answered as FRIDAY flitted through the data to find what he was talking about. Sure enough, there was documentation. Only, you weren’t in the room at the time that FRIDAY didn’t think it necessary to include at first.

The Winter Soldier was more like Bucky in that moment than the team had ever seen. He demanded a windowed cell, not even realizing that no such thing existed in a HYDRA facility. But no matter who talked to him or tried to hurt him, he wouldn’t listen. The soldier shook his head again before grabbing the throat of the nearest guard.

“My girl wants to see the outside. Misses it. She will get her window or she will accompany me on missions. But I am giving her outside. Doll, deserves it.”

The guards in the video and the team watching on the screen all glanced over at their versions of Bucky. Karpov stepped closer to the soldier. His smile was sickly sweet.

“She will get her window… If you return to the machine, Asset.” He held up a hand before the soldier could growl. “We will let you remember her. But she isn’t your doll.”

The soldier did growl at the way Karpov spat the nickname.

“She is barely your girl. A whore, a pet, a toy, perhaps. All appropriate names. Get back to the machine without causing a fuss and you will get her a window and we will allow her to be your girl.”

The guard slowly dying in the soldier’s clutch gasped as he was finally dropped. 

“My name is Bucky. She calls me Bucky.” 

Karpov and the other handlers nodded, watching the soldier comply with no further issues.

✭✭✭✭

You were escorted in Karpov’s office, having been awoken from cryo only mere minutes ago. Bucky was scheduled to come home that day. They rarely let you out of cryo when he was on missions. It kept him under control. If there was one thing Bucky would never do, it was endanger your life. 

Karpov barely looked up from the paperwork he was filling out. “You are not to refer to Soldat as Bucky anymore. N—” 

“I’m not calling him the Asset or Soldat.” 

The man in front of you looked up with a bit of a smile. “I see the soldier’s bite has begun to rub off. You didn’t not let me finish. He will be referred to as Sergeant James Barnes. You may call him Bucky in the privacy of your own home but he must get used to his name once again. Assist him with that.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Good. Dismissed. Guards will be escorting you to your new chambers.” 

You stood as straight as possible, preparing for the potential punishment you were about to face. “I’d like to request permission to give Sergeant Barnes his tags back if he is being allowed to become a sergeant again.” 

You breathed in deeply when the man came from around the corner of his desk. 

Karpov backhanded you. “If you ever hide something like that from us again, the consequences will be more severe.”

“Yes, sir,” you said through gritted teeth. “May I return his tags, sir?” 

Karpov snatched them from your hands. You thought that was it. Accepting defeat, you let the guards escort you. You were taken to the first level of the garages. The first thing you noticed was that you were taken to an apartment building. It wasn’t far from the base and nothing else was around. You figured all the other residents were grunt workers for HYDRA. It might not have been the outside and in the city that you were hoping for but you could almost cry at the sight. 

The apartment had a living room, two bedrooms, a large bathroom and a smaller half-bath. There was a dining room right off of the kitchen. And several catalogs of furniture laid on the floor. 

Nat paused the video. “They didn’t want you brainwashed. They wanted you as an answer to Steve.” 

The thought didn’t make the team feel much better. It was another form of manipulation but not through torture. Pity pulled at all of them as they watched you sit on the floor and excitedly thumb through magazines, bookmarking what you thought Bucky would also like. The team watched as back in the facility, Bucky was stopped by Karpov. The dialogue must not have mattered much because FRIDAY skipped right to Bucky coming into the apartment. 

He laughed, gravelly from years of having not done so, when you jumped into his arms. Bucky pecked your lips before setting you down. 

“We have our own place, Sergeant. There’s a patio.” 

“A patio? Well, surely we need furniture for that as well.” 

You held up a catalog. “This one is for clothes. Not many options but… We can feel normal.” 

✭✭✭✭

Bucky wasn’t in tactical gear when he entered the apartment. That was the first thing they noticed. 

The soldier wasn’t in his standard uniform or a simple black tank top and pants with his military boots. They gave him scrubs. Scrubs like the ones you used to wear. All in colors that matched your new dresses. The illusion of a normal life. Most importantly, his dog tags dangled on a chain, slipping out of his shirt as he bent down to take off his shoes. He made a beeline straight for the living room where you were reading some book in Russian. 

Bucky leaned over the couch, pecking your lips. “We’re a bit low on groceries. I’ll put in a delivery order tomorrow. Is beef stroganoff okay?”

“You could make just a grilled cheese and I’d love it, Buck. Are you sure you don’t want me to cook? You just got back from wherever you’ve been.”

He adamantly shook his head. “Switzerland and you hate anything to do with the kitchen.”

“But you always cook.”

“And you always do the laundry. I rather like our arrangement. I don’t have to do any chores I hate, so why would I let my girl do the ones she doesn’t like? Hey, I got you something.” 

He pulled a bar of chocolate from one pocket and a small teddy bear from the other. “Happy Birthday, doll. Sorry I was away for the real day.” 

“Thank you!” 

Bucky let you pull him down for a few more kisses before stating he had to get dinner ready. You had let him have his domain in the kitchen for a few minutes but you just had to enter. For a moment, you simply watched from the doorway. Bucky was cleaning up bowls that you could tell were holding cake batter just moments ago. 

He lifted his head from staring at the pot of stroganoff when music started to play. You tugged at his arm to try and get him away from the food. 

“The cake’ll burn. So will this.” 

“We’ll set a timer,” you stated so simply.  

Rolling his eyes, Bucky smiled as he lowered the stove’s temperature before letting you pull him away. 

From the music playing through the radio, everyone could tell it was the 60s now. You and Bucky had been placed in cryo for nearly six years and neither one of you were even aware that it hadn’t been a single night. The two of you didn’t even register that the music was completely new. Instead, you danced in the kitchen without a care in the world. 

They watched as you finally went to bed, content with life. Part of the reason you and Bucky didn’t seem to have a proper track of time was because of the new cryo chambers. HYDRA had configured your whole apartment to be one big chamber. The disorientation helped manage Bucky even better. Six years to the two of you just felt like a good eight hours of rest. 

Knowing that there was such a big jump in time, the team thought now was an appropriate time to take a break. 

Sharon and Maria agreed to monitor the video now on mute with just subtitles while the others moved around the conference room piling plates with food and filling cups with various drinks. 

“Do you want anything?” Bucky asked you, pushing his plate a bit closer to your hand. 

You shook your head. “The bad years are coming. I don’t think I have the stomach to eat and watch.”

A gasp from Sharon drew everyone’s attention before Bucky could ask you to define what the bad years meant.

“What?” Ross asked.

Silently, Sharon rewinded the video all the way to the beginning, turning up the volume. It was another one of Karpov’s logs. Only for once, he seemed more interested in the camera than usual when he normally does his paperwork while reporting. Karpov set down his pen and pushed a ledger aside.

“Sergeant Barnes and the Asset are starting to work together. His rampages have significantly improved. It seems as long as Barnes gets his girl and as long as she is safe, the Asset will comply. Fortunately, he has also confirmed with this revelation that the instability is purely from Barnes trying to gain control of himself again. We are working on how to eliminate that problem with future winter soldiers. For now, we are aiming for that goal rather than fixing the Asset. He has a solution that continues to work. It will do for now.

“If the newest rounds of soldiers prove to be effective and our improvements to the serums work then we will grant the Asset the one thing he has been asking for. He will be allowed to retire from all missions that are not deemed the highest level. He will resume his life as Sergeant Barnes, training other winter soldiers. And we are considering granting him and his girl a proper house away from the facility. He has not tried to run away since she has been with him and she is too weak mentally and physically to flee if given the freedom. 

“The illusion of normal life has done well for him. If he wants a white picket fence and a silly ranch house, we feel confident in giving him that. Zola is coming from America to assess Barnes himself. He hasn’t given an official report yet however he believes that we will be able to transfer the Asset to America. Instead of a HYDRA base, he can live a little away from the city with L/N. Still monitored, of course. However, we might be able to remove surveillance from their house in a couple of years or so. Also, Sergeant Barnes has requested permission to marry Doctor L/N. We will be granting that request.”

It hurt Bucky more than he thought it would to see the wedding ceremony. It looked real. You were in a very pretty wedding dress. His tux looked just like one he was considering for him and Steve’s wedding in a couple years or so. The two of you looked so happy. He didn’t understand the turning point until it stared him in the face. HYDRA didn’t allow mistakes and the Asset had made a mistake. Several. 

With you becoming his wife, he had started to care too much. He wasn’t failing his missions but he was getting sloppy. Bucky’s main objective was getting home to you. And that meant taking less risks, taking longer to hit targets, doing more spy work than sniper work if needed. All things that HYDRA didn’t like. But they couldn’t seem to agree on a route for correction. 

“If we take her away then it will take us another decade to make the Asset perfect again. He almost believed he chose to be a part of HYDRA. He was nearing perfection. He needs her but he needs to care about her less,” Zola argued. “He needs to be taught what constitutes coming home to her versus what means spending nights in the cryo chamber alone.”

Karpov thought. “So we don’t take her away. We change his nature towards her. She can’t continue being his girl, not until we have studied this final stage more.”

Another official nodded. “She must be his punishment and reward.”

“She will reward him when he does what we want. She will punish him whenever he refuses to comply. And she will always look perfect. His mistakes no longer are a consequence to her. She is the consequence for him. When Sergeant Barnes is able to deliver us perfection, we will allow them to live the rest of their days as proper HYDRA operatives. He will get his doll back forever.”

The word doll left Karpov’s lips with so much venom.

✭✭✭✭

The first time Bucky failed in their eyes, you were brought into a prison cell. A riding crop was handed to you. 

“No,” you whispered. How could they ask you to harm your own husband? 

It only took one guard slapping you clear across the face for Bucky to call out to you. He tried to calm your tears, telling you to just do what HYDRA wanted. The reassurance he gave wasn’t much of a comfort. You were hurting him. No matter the circumstances, you couldn’t get over it so easily. 

✭✭✭✭

A vicious cycle at the hands of HYDRA began. Whenever he failed, you and him were trapped in a prison cell with a riding crop or a taser until you did what they wanted. Whenever he succeeded, Bucky got to go back to the apartment with you with a box in his hand. It usually contained a sweet treat or a new vhs tape or some lingerie for you. And Bucky was given many days, sometimes even a whole week, to just be with his wife and make love to you. 

You two cuddled a lot more than before. Bucky tended to hold you in his arms while your murmured apologies and let your healing powers dance against his temple. Neither one of you was sure if it mentally helped him or not but it became a comfort of sorts for both of you. 

✭✭✭✭

The change didn’t come gradually. It was a sudden snap. Bucky had failed again and once again you both were locked in the prison cell. You felt like something was wrong when Bucky didn’t give you his customary “It’s alright sweetheart.” But the guards didn’t care, telling you that they’d double Bucky’s punishment if you didn’t get to it. 

You were about halfway before he lunged at you. It might have been years but everyone still remembered what a rampage looked like. 

The team watched many fast forwardings of Bucky’s rampages, all directed at you now. Bucky understood what you meant by the bad years now. It was like he didn’t exist anymore. All traces of James Barnes were practically gone until only the winter soldier remained. 

Another one of Karpov’s logs appeared. 

“The Asset’s feelings remain complicated towards L/N. He no longer takes to her rewards but is satisfied using her as a reward for himself. The wiping seems to be having that effect. He remembers a faint desire for her but seems to be under the impression that HYDRA is granting him this release. There is concern that L/N might not survive if he gets rougher.

"Whether from physical or mental stress we aren’t sure. The Asset seems to naturally default to patterns that mimic the apartment incident. The only reason we have yet to step in is we are noticing signs of Sergeant Barnes returning. He seems almost apologetic at harming L/N. We will continue watching this new development and if it is the final stage in his patterning. Ideally, we would have liked to give him the perfect HYDRA life but creating a controlled cycle will work as well.”

“I don’t think we need to see anymore,” Bucky muttered, pausing the video. “She’s cleared, right?” 

The committee nodded. Without a shadow of a doubt, you were a victim of HYDRA like Bucky was. Both of you were doing what you were forced to do. They were delicate in their questioning, mainly wanting to know if there was anything they missed. Nick cleared his throat. 

“That pattern Karpov mentioned, did it ever emerge?”

You nodded, pulling the dog tags out from underneath your shirt. “It was a routine. Every few years started with us being strangers, getting a few good years of marriage, me becoming the Asset’s handler and then his pet.”

“You never tried to leave or at least get away from Barnes. Why?” Nick tried to keep his voice soft. 

“Because when they let me have my Bucky, he was the sweetest man I’ve ever known. You’ve met Sergeant Barnes. He’s always been a charmer. And I wasn’t going to let him go through that hell alone.”

Bucky’s fingers drummed against the table. “You were the tool they were supposed to be bringing me in D.C. a couple years ago, weren’t you?”

You nodded. “Probably. They said something about nearing your major rampage before I was put under.”

“So we were just going to do this again? This fucked up cycle?” 

“Until the day one of us died.” 

“And you stuck with it… With me.” 

“Yeah.” 

Bucky shook his head. “Why didn’t you tell us? We treated you like one of those fucking criminals.” 

“Because you have built a life here, James. You have a partner and family and a really nice career. Why should I be allowed to come in and ruin that? I had a plan. Gain your trust, be pardoned or put on a watchlist or whatever, leave the tower and live some quiet life as a barista in Harlem or maybe Brooklyn. Maybe even Tribeca. I was content with that plan.” 

“And that was good enough for you?” Tony asked. “Your husband leaving you and hating your guts?” 

“We’ve essentially divorced many times. It doesn’t hurt any less even when I knew you were coming back to me eventually. This was just another one of those times, just permanently. I just wanted both of us safe and as normal as we can be after what’s happened to us.”  

It wasn’t the answer everyone was expecting but it gave them an insight into your mind. No one really had a response. Even thinking about being in your position, they realized they were unsure of what they would have done. 

“What did Karpov mean by the apartment incident?” Bucky asked, thinking about the last log. 

“We were having really good years, no punishments necessary. I think everyone thought you had been perfected. But they had wiped you a little more than they meant to and it sent you into a rampage and you briefly forgot who I was. It’s nothing, Bucky.” 

“It was just like my nightmares, wasn’t it? Just like when I hurt you in that prison cell.” 

“Yes.” You debated lying but knew he hated that. 

“How badly did I hurt you?” 

“I don’t really remember,” you admitted. “The memory is still there but I don’t really remember the physical. It’s probably somewhere in the tapes you reco—”

“FRIDAY, please pul—”

“I don’t think you’ll want to see them, Bucky. I had become so used to Sergeant Barnes and they let you keep most of your memories about us any time you were wiped. It took a while for me to remember that you and the winter soldier weren’t the same person. We weren’t doing well for a while afterwards.”   

“I need to see what I did to you.” 

You didn’t try to argue with him, just nodded ever so slightly. For the first time in person, Steve knew how deeply involved you and Bucky had been. Anyone else would have kept arguing with him. But you could read the micro-expressions on his face and hear the slight bend in his voice that everyone else seemed to miss. You and Steve both knew he needed the closure of remembering everything. 

Bucky’s jaw clenched as he watched you sit up straight when the front door slammed. 

You barely had time to ask what had made him mad before his hand was around the back of your neck and practically dragging you to the kitchen table. Between the hardwood and his metal hand, you felt nothing but pain. 

“Mine,” Bucky muttered, voice with the gravelly tone that came with the winter soldier mode. 

Your hands flailed pathetically as you tried to get him to slow down a bit. 

You excused yourself to the other room, knowing what came next. Your slight trembling as you tried to calm down wasn’t lost on them. They snapped back to attention when you began to beg Bucky — using his title, his first name, and his nickname at different intervals — to continue bruising your cervix rather than begin to prod at your other entrance. 

“We’ve never done this before. James, please, no!” 

The soldier pushed on, not even trying to accommodate as he set his own brutal pace. You watched the clock on the wall just hoping that he’d be finished soon. A sharp cry came from your throat as he practically ripped himself out of you. With a gentler touch than before, your nightgown was pulled back down. 

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. Shit, are you oka—” 

You yanked one of the serrated knives from his tactical gear belt and ran to your bedroom before he could finish his sentence. Bucky didn’t try to get in even though he never heard the door lock. Instead, he kneeled in front of a closed door, forehead resting on it. Tears ran down his face, leaving wet spots on his tactical gear.

“Please, just open the door.” His voice cracked. “Sweetheart, I’m sorry. If I had known the Asset was going to rampage then I wouldn’t have come home.”  

The cctv footage switched to inside the room. You were holding the serrated knife out in a fashion that showed you had never learned how to fight with it, shaking like a leaf as you stood as far away from the door as possible until you were up against the wall. 

Bucky thought he was going to throw up at the sight, so familiar in ways to his first nightmare with you here in the tower but different at the same time. Your nightgown — instead of pajama shorts — was bloody mainly on the lower half. The lower half that wasn’t ripped up. Bruises littered your skin, most in the shape of his fingers. Your tears had dried up a while ago but the stains they left behind still trailed along your cheeks. 

The door opened slowly. Bucky nearly jumped to his feet before kneeling back down at your sharp intake of breath. You both looked down at the blood trickle that now landed on your foot. Your trembling resumed. 

“Let me help you with that.”

You flinched. “I-I can do it… I think I just need some time, James.” 

He began to cry again, watching you twist your body so you could avoid touching him. Announcing everything he did so that you wouldn’t be startled, Bucky moved into the second bedroom that was just used as an office and glorified closet. He didn’t bother to look at the catalogs that HYDRA left, he didn’t need another bed. The floor was good enough for now. Bucky didn’t care about comfort but about your wellbeing. 

Every night for a month, Bucky slept on the couch. Whenever your apartment wasn’t turned into a cryo chamber, he’d clutch a pillow so tight that seams were on the verge of ripping and listen to your nightmares. Early one morning, he knocked on the bedroom door and waited for a hitch in your breath. You never answered him but he knew when you were awake. 

“I have a mission. I’ll be gone for two months.” 

✭✭✭✭

You paced back and forth, wringing out your hands. 

“It wasn’t him,” you muttered to yourself, taking deep breaths as you stared at the clock.

He was supposed to be coming home in a couple of hours.

“It wasn’t him. Bucky wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t. He’s coming home, not the Asset. Bucky wouldn’t hurt me. He didn’t hurt me.” 

It pained the team to watch your panic. You didn’t look like you believed your own words, not that they could blame you. Bucky stopped paying attention to the screen, although he was still listening. Instead his focus was on you in the other room. He could easily see you through the glass, the way your leg kept bouncing up and down as you sat there. 

You turned abruptly when the door started to open. Bucky barely had time to inform you that he was back before you hugged him tightly. You repeated the mantra that you had been saying since the day he left. He stood there frozen for a moment before slowly wrapping both of his arms around you. Both of you sighed for two different reasons as he came to rest his cheek on the top of your head. 

“Thank you for forgiving me, sweetheart,” he whispered, almost afraid to speak out loud and break the fragile reconciliation you two have built up. “I’m so sorry.” 

“I know it wasn’t you, Bucky.” 

“But I scared you all the same. It doesn’t matter what they did to me. I scared you.” 

“I just forgot it wasn’t you.” 

“Don’t do that, doll. Don’t spare my feelings.” 

You nodded and took a breath. “It did terrify me. I-I couldn’t tell the difference between you and the soldier. I can handle it when I know it’s not you but…” 

“I’ll make sure they never let me be home again unless it’s confirmed that it’s just me. Okay?” 

You sniffled but nodded. 

Both you and Bucky jumped at the clap of thunder. He held you closer as if that would drown out the sound of rain hitting the windows, pressing another kiss to your hairline. 

“I’m sorry about that as well.” 

“I know it’s the soldier.”

“Still, you shouldn’t have to know. Write down exactly how you know it’s me and not the soldier.” 

“You want a checklist?” 

Bucky chuckled. “Yeah, Y/N. Give me a checklist. How about I go run you a bath and make dinner and we can watch a movie.” 

“They dropped off a new box of vhs tapes. My Neighbor Totoro looks nice. Calm.” 

“Sounds perfect.” 

Bucky got up the moment the footage ended. The same way he could see you, the team could see him through the glass wall. He hugged you tightly, not saying anything but just hugging you. Bucky took your face in both hands. 

“Are you okay? Really, don’t lie to me.” 

“It was more triggering than I thought. Fuck, I should be fine by now.” 

“Hey, hey, hey. Don’t do that. You shouldn’t be anything after what’s happened to you. Okay?” 

You nodded, going in for another hug to try and ground yourself. Bucky only pulled away when he felt you finally loosen your hold. 

“Whatever you need from me, I’ll help you. Seriously, Y/N. Even if you want to move out of the tower and to another country, just call me. Even if I’m busy, I’ll make sure Steve or Sam or Nat is there.”

✭

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